Saturday, August 26, 2006

Texas Tech Football

We had a lot of fun last night. It was prett neat. It was cool to be able to get down on the field. Madi stayed with Nathan and got autographs, and I pretty much chased Kyle the entire time. He would run from one end to the other, and then he just got tired and laid down in the end zone. Okay, if I do say so myself, is that not the cutest picture of Madi and Graham Harrell??? He is the starting quarterback. He isn't very big! I think I could have tackled him! Hopefully he has a very good offensive line.

Go Tech!!!

Friday, August 25, 2006


I am bored...I am at work. I am going to leave soon I think. I am all caught up, I guess I could clean my desk or something, but why would I do that?

Not a whole lot has happened this week. I do have some big news. Nathan passed his state test. So he is now officially a licensed residential appraiser! The test was really hard. It asked one question about the best way to appraise a maximum security prison. Well generally speaking as a real estate appraiser, you don't appraise many prisons. So he was a little frustraed at times, but we are all just glad he is done! He has to take another test to be licensed for FHA, but the big part is done.

We are going tonight to the Tech football signing thing. I don't really know what it is called, but you know where you can get the football players autographs. Nathan is really excited. He got a football off of Ebay that is signed by Kliff Kingsbury and Kody Hodges for $5 and everyone makes fun of him that their autographs actually made the value of the football go down. He is a true fan. So he is really excited.

I have a lot on my mind that I can't actually talk about in detail. Once again, yes everything is fine. I think being patient and waiting is the absolute hardest thing to do. Especially when you are waiting on answers from God. I know that in the process of waiting we learn a lot that God wants to teach us...which is the point of waiting, right? God molds us into the people that he wants us to be, and our faith is strengthened, but man it is so hard. Yes, I am waiting. And I am struggling with that. Some days seem so monotamous, but I have to remind myself that there is nothing that is monotamous with God. He doesn't wake up (he probably doesn't go to bed, but you know what I mean) and think, "well I don't have much to do today, so I guess I'll just sit here"...his plan is always working, and it is imperative that I focus on that. So I guess I am just venting out loud right now. So I wait...I have a question though. Do you, whoever you are reading this, believe that if you are focused on God and your heart is in the right place believe that the "little voice" inside, (which I would say is the holy spirit) gives you answers. That may seem like an obvious answer, but I'm really serious. Of course we all do dumb things and say dumb things, but if you're heart is in the right place, how do you know if what you're doing is right. I guess I am looking for guidance, and I am praying a lot about everything...sometimes we just all need encouragement to shut out all the other noise and "listen". Make sense?

Well I am going home now. I am so glad it is Friday!!! I am going to pick up my babies and have a good weekend. I hope you all do the same.

Monday, August 21, 2006


Ya know, some of your comments about chapel got me to thinking. I would have to say Lauren's in paticular. I started thinking, and although at one time I hated "having" to go somewhere every single day, I took that for granted. I guess I would have to say that I am now a little bit older and little more mature, and I wish I had some of that time back. How awesome would it be now to be able to see your friends everyday! I would love to take 30 minutes out of my day and commit that time to worshiping God. And have the huge added bonus of seeing my friends. I miss everybody! Even people that I wasn't close friends with...I still enjoy knowing that those people are doing well and are living a good, Christian life. Sure we have all had our differences at times, but that is part of growing up and trying to figure out how to find our passage into the "real world". Life is way too short to hold grudges. There are some people that I still think are idiots, but I have also learned that as much fun as it probably would be to kick them in the face, it's not my job. You know what they say about Karma!!

I don't know, maybe I am feeling a little sappy, but I really do wish everyone the best, and I really do miss my friends. I miss the fun times. The crazy dorms, the hall parties, laying out on the roof, just say no to no-doz, staying up all night "studying" (yeah right, that's why it took me so long to get out of there!) I could make a list a mile long. There's one thing I can never say. I can never say I did not have fun in college. And I thank you if you had a part in that. Okay, I'm going to go now. I think I'm going to cry....what in the world is wrong with me????

Friday, August 18, 2006


I was just on a friend's blog and she announced that she would be attending LCU's 50th anniversary of opening day at Chapel. I thought for about 2 seconds about going...and then I remembered how I hated chapel. It's nothing against God, I just hated going. In fact my last semester before I laid out for a year I got kicked out of LCU because I missed chapel so much. Yeah, thanks Dr. Patty. I still feel like toilet papering his house for tattling to my dad about me missing chapel so much. How old are we??? But it's alright because right after I got kicked out, I got pregnant. Man, I sound like such a rebel. Now all I need is my motorcycle and some drugs or something, and I would be so bad. So no, I won't be attending chapel, but Lauren, I hope you and Scott have a blast. :)
Well another work week is over...hooray!!! We ate with Nathan's parents tonight. They are moving to Spearman, TX tomororow. They moved here in May, and since that time have decided that they want to stay in the ministry, so he took a preaching job in Spearman. They were living in our old house. So now we have 2 houses on the market to sale. No, we are not moving, we just have 2 houses for sale. And we sure would like to sell them. I know God has a plan, but that would really be nice if we could both of those things taken care of. So I ask for prayers for that! Spearman isn't too far away. It is northeast of Amarillo. About 3 1/2 hours from here.

Tomorrow morning my dad is coming to pick me up and we are going to go buy all the stuff to finish up all the projects I have started and never finished. Like the chair rail in Kyle's room. The white picket fence in Madi's room...their bathroom and our bathroom. I am so good at starting things and then getting bored and moving on to something else. So that's where my good ole' Dad comes into play.

Kyle has another ear infection!!! Usually Nathan takes the kids to school so I can get to work early. Well he had an early appointment, so I took them. I was getting Kyle ready and he felt a little warm, so I proceeded to take his temperature with the therometer. As I was putting it in his ear, I noticed some stuff draining from it. He was eating a banana so I thought he has smooshed the banana in his ear...which would seem logical, right? Everyone wants banana in their ear. Anyways, I looked at it a little more and it had blood in it. So the kid's and I spent the day together. We went to the doctor and sure enough, both ears are infected. We will do this round of antibiotics and if it doesn't heal up then it's off to the ENT again. And honestly, I am just ready to do the tubes. I don't think he's going to get better and it's almost September, and fall will be here before we know it. So I'm just ready for him to be well all around.

Not much else is going on. It's been a good week. I am so ready for it to start cooling down. I love the fall of the year...friday night chocholate...and before we know it Christmas. I'm really looking forward to the holidays this year. The kids are at ages where their both a lot of fun, and are becoming more self-sufficient every day. Which partly makes me sad, but I also enjoy very much!!!

I hope you all have a great weekend.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Gold wierdo

I tried to post these other pics yesterday, but I was having trouble. So I thought I'd try it again. One is from last night when we were watching Ryder.

My crazy husband is out in the backyard. He came up with a great idea that he was going to turn our backyard into a driving range. I guess I should be relieved b/c I was getting that confused with a shooting range. He just walked past me with his gold clubs and a bucket of balls and said, "you don't want to know." I replied with, "you're right." He is quite possibly the strangest person I've ever known. But I do have to say he keeps my life exciting. :)

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Okay, well it's been a whirlwind evening with Ryder here. Just as soon as I think we're doing good, we're not. But I think I really may have it this time. He just ate, and spit up all over me, and now he's snoring, so hopefully we're set. It's amazing how you forget how much work these little guys are. As I sit here with him, I think back on how I have had two, and survived.

We really did have a fun day. The party was great, and then we went and got pics at Family Photo. That didn't really go according to plan. We were there for their together pictures and monday we would do individuals. Well we ended up doing just Madi's today. Kyle was not having any part of that. So I ask for prayers on monday. I HAVE to get his pictures done. Madi wasn't wearing what I had picked out for her individuals, but oh well, what can you do? When you have kids, you plan as well as you can, but also realizing that you have to be flexible. She was so funny though. The photographer put her in the pose for the pic and said, "now hold still." and she said, "well you better hurry, b/c I'm probably going to move." Just very matter of factly. She cracks me up.

Well I have a story. We all have those "stories" in our lives that are just crazy. Some of you already know my story or heard it from someone else, so if you do, sorry if it's a repeat. Two years ago tomorrow, August 13th is a day Nathan and I will never forget. Of course you have those anniversay dates, birth dates, and etc, but you also have those other monumental dates in your life. Kyle was 9 days old and I had been out of the hospital for about a week. We had dropped film off at CVS and it was ready and I was really wanting to go get it. I wasn't supposed to drive, but my recovery with Kyle was a breeze, so I packed both kids up and went to CVS. At the time we lived in Slaton, so driving to CVS in Slaton is a little different than Lubbock. Anyways, we came home and came in the house, and there was a message from my OBGYN to call her, and it was very important. I thought it was odd that she called and not a nurse. So I put Madi down for a nap, and sat down and called my dr. When I got her on the phone she asked if I was at a place where I could talk and I said yes. She proceeds to tell me that my tests came back (they test for anything you might have when you're in the hospital after the baby is born) and I tested positive for HIV. Of course I didn't believe her, I told her that's not right, and she said, I'm really sorry but they had tested it three times in the Lubbock and sent it off to Austin to do what is called a Western Blot and it came back positive as well. She then instructed me that I needed to start Kyle on HIV medication right away, b/c if he went through one round of medicine his chances of having it were a lot lower. My mind was racing. What can you think when you hear something like that? I didn't believe it, but it was a blood test. You expect validity from that. So I called Nathan. He was just as confused as I was, but also just in shock. He rushed home from work. I called my mom, and just cried. Then I got a call from the Texas Department of Health. I don't understand what procedure is exactly, but they have to call and talk to you. They have to make sure you're okay, and it's their job to ask the tough questions. By this time Nathan was home and she told me to go into the bedroom and shut the door. She asked me to be honest with her. Had I cheated on Nathan, had he cheated on me? Did I use drugs? All the standard questions I'm sure to ask someone. Although, they really push that whole monogamy thing. It was not fun, I will say that. They really wanted me to point the finger and wanted him to admit something. Nathan and my Dad went to Lubbock to get the medicine for Kyle. There was only one place in Lubbock that carried it. And when they went and got the medicine, I remember Nathan was crying and the pharmacist knew what it was for. He just told him, that it was going to be okay. That we could work through this, he even mentioned Magic Johnson. We had to give him the medicine 4 times a day. Everytime I gave it to him, I felt terrible. I felt guilty even though I knew I hadn't done anything. It was a really long weekend. The longest ever, and the next day we were moving to Lubbock. Which ended up being a blessing, b/c if I hadn't have had something to distract me, I would have been crazy. I already was nuts, but at least I had that as somewhat of a distraction. The plan was that we were to go back in to the doctor on monday morning, and each of us would be tested. They would then take it to the lab at the Texas Department of Health. You would think they could extend of some sort of courtesy and do it a little earlier, but no. That weekend my heart just broke. I remember praying, "why?" I remember finally coming to some sort of peace with myself that if this is something that I must endure it must be for a reason, and we wouldn't be going through it without God's help and guidance. That's the only thing I could think. I spent a lot of time thinking about Job and David, and man I can honestly say that God did a lot for my heart in a very short amount of time. So monday morning came and would you like to know what song came on the radio when my alarm went off? "Live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw. That song had just came out. I hadn't heard it, and I just sat there and listened to it. I have to say that was kind of wierd. I still can't listen to that song without thinking about that. So we went to the doctor, and EVERYONE knew what we were there for. And I felt a little stared at I have to say. It's the HIV family! They had to be a little bit quiet about everything, b/c The Texas Department of Health was meeting us there, and they expect everyone to be very hush hush about that kind of stuff. The woman took me into one room, the man took Nathan into the other room, and once again they went over their questions. During all this we find out that not only did we test positive, but so did 2 other couples that delivered within 48 hours of us and also had our doctor. I sure wish we had known that Friday, but they can't disclose that kind of stuff. Apparently, someone did have HIV, but we didn't, and neither did the other two couples. They got this other persons blood mixed up with ours and kept retesting it. To this day, we don't know the entire story. I do know that they shut down the lab and staff members were fired. My mom has run into the lady at the TDOH a couple of times since then. (My mom is the high school nurse) We didn't get our official tests results back until tuesday afternoon. But we felt pretty okay, when we found out about the other couples. To this day, UMC has never apologized. I had a lot of bitterness towards them for a very long time. I just make passive aggresive jokes now. I know they can't say anything, b/c that would be admitting neglicence, but man extend some common courtest to some people that you hurt!!! I had the same OBGYN for both my kids. I just couldn't bring myself to go back there anymore. I really liked her and her staff, but it honestly took me over a year to get over that. I was a freak for quite a while. Anytime Kyle was sick, I would panic. They offered to put Nathan and I in counseling, and they offered anti-depressants. I ended up going on an anti-anxiety drug. It was too much for me dealing with that and being post-partum. But I have been drug free for over 5 months now. I would have gotten off sooner, but that was hard to wean off of! But I'm good now. So anyways, that's my story. I hope you were able to make it through to the end, I know it was long. Oh and by the way, that was FRIDAY, August 13th. I hope I never have another Friday the 13th like that one again! But a lot of good came out of it. Like I said, God did a lot for my heart that weekend, and he did a lot for my marriage too. Nathan and I had to remain strong, and know what our relationship was based on. He was a rock for me that weekend. I knew he loved me, but I saw a very different side of him that weekend. A very good side.

Well I better go. I hope you all have a great rest of the weekend.

Kyle's Party

What else would you rather do than spend a saturday at Chuck E. Cheese? We had a lot of fun. Kyle got a lot of neat stuff, and it was fun to get to spend time with friends that I haven't gotten to see in a long time. I was planning on writing a little bit, but we are baby sitting Ryder right now. And he is not sleeping, like he is "supposed" to. I think he knows that I am not his mom. So duty calls. If I have a chance I'll try later.

Friday, August 11, 2006

I had to post this picture...this is too funny. If you want to see some more good pics go to This is the link to my friends blog, Lisa. She has a really funny post.

I would add links, but like I've mentioned before, I just don't get how to do it. Everyone else seems to be able to do it, but I am just stumped.
Okay I have to start this with a list. This is my top 3 movies that I WILL NOT be seing this summer:

3. Snakes on a Plane
2. Snakes on a Plane
and finally, number
1. Snakes on a Plane

I was going to make a top 10 but I thought that would get a little redundant. What are these people thinking. I have a HUGE fear of snakes. I can't even look at pictures of them in books without my blood pressure rising. I'm just glad for my sake that they let us know what the movie was about in the title. I would hate to be sitting there and get a big surprise.

Okay, now on to real life. Tomorrow is Kyle's party. Did I mention it was a pirate party. (I can't remember) That is what he chose. I think it would be funny to put a vest on him and an eye patch. We'll see how long that lasts. I'm also getting the kids pictures done tomorrow. I'm doing they're pictures together on Saturday, and then individual ones on Monday. Getting pictures done are fun, but for some reason traumatic. After seeing how Kyle acted a week ago when we did them with Ryder, splitting them up looks like a better option. He acted like his life was ending or something. I was kind of funny. We're doing a Red Raider picture of the two of them. How appropriate with college football to be starting. Have I also mentioned that my crazy husband is DRIVING to each out of town game??? (I think I'm getting old, b/c I can't remember what I write on here.) I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as a "shotgun" trip to Aames, Iowa. He was like you and the kids can come too. Umm, no thanks. Sounds more like torture to me. I may go to a couple, or more like one. I like watching Tech play, but I am just fine being at home.

Well, we are looking forward to a fun weekend. I'll take lots of pics of the party!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I have been titleless lately. I just can't think of titles, I haven't felt very creative lately. Not a lot is going on, I just thought I'd update. I'm kind of bored right now. Nathan is at his second job right now, poker. People think I'm kidding when I say it is a life goal of Nathan's to retire and become a professional poker player. I could care less, I just don't want to live in Vegas. Great place to visit, but no plans to live there.

Speaking of living, I am so terribly disappointed that we did not win the "make a wish house" that they auctioned off on Sunday. Nathan and Eric had a good plan. They each bought 3 tickets, and then they would split it if they won. We're not looking for a house, but they are, so they would pay us $125,000 and keep the house. Oh the things we could pay off with $125,000!!! But alas, we did not win. I was really dissapointed. I know the chances of it happening were slim, but still a 6 out of 5,000 chance is way better than just buying a randon lottery licket. Oh well, I guess I'll be okay.

Like I said, I'm bored. I could do some cleaning, but who wants to do that. I even get tired of watching t.v. It seems like we're so t.v. obsessed at our house. We can't seem to get enough of Big Brother. I know that Nathan and I and like 3 other americans are the only ones who watch it, but we like it. I think Dr. Will looks just like John D. (you know the dean at LCU, the one who I can't say his last name) He reminds me so much of him. I love it how everyone on there is like, "we're big brother all-stars, yeah don't mess with us"....please no one even knows who you are, nor will they ever!!!!! I also can't wait for Season 3 of Laguna Beach. I am really disappointed that we won't be seeing Kristen or Steven or LC...but I am anticipating a good season. I love how they talk. It so reminds me of high-school, even college. "She said, and I was like oh my gosh, and then she told him, and then she kissed him, and I hate her." Such fun drama to watch and make fun of!!! Speaking of LC, can you believe she chose Jason over Paris???? What was she smoking???? He's a dumb boy, and it's Paris France!!!! I couldn't belive it. I was so dissapointed. We are way too t.v. obsessed...I should read more. That would be the intelligent thing, but it's just not as much fun. Thank goodness for I don't know what we'd do without it now. It is by far one of the coolest inventions ever!

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Happy Birthday Kyle!!!

We had a lot of fun yesterday. We ate lunch with my parents, and then yesterday afternoon we went and spent time with Suzanne and Ryder. And then last night we went and ate dinner at Logan's with Colt, Suzanne, and Ryder. Before we ate we went to Toys R Us and picked out his new birthday bike. It's really cute, it has a handle on the back so you can push him, until he gets it down himself. He's really gotten into cars, so Colt picked out a Tonka truck for him and a big F-150 that pulls a 4 wheeler, and makes A LOT of noise. Thank You uncle Colt!!! Ya know men complain about women taking too long, or shopping, gossiping, goodness, I didn't know that two grown men could spend so long trying to pick out the right cars for a 2 year old. They are supposedly going to be building a sand box today too. The tonka truck is a dump truck, and it would only make sense that he actually had something to dump in and out of it, so they decided to build a sand box. And they don't want one that you can dumb the sand it and put a top on it. They were talking about railroad ties and all this stuff. It's a great thought, and I'm sure he'll be thrilled, but I'm not holding my breath. It really was a fun day. I now can say I have a 4 year old and a two year old. I always said 23 1/2 months for the longest time. I just wanted to drag it out as long as possible...once you hit 2 you're not a baby anymore, and I'm just not sure how I feel about that. I don't have babies anymore!!!! Kyle seemed like he was a baby longer than Madi was. Madi has always been so independent, I think she was a baby for 9 months and she was done! She was pottytrained completely by 27 months!!! I'm still amazed by that, I have my mother to thank for that. She was the one who really made that happen. Kyle on the other hand, has taken his time on everything. You don't rush him...he does it when HE wants. It seems like in the last couple of months he has just matured so much...he is so big!!! He really hasn't had a chance to play with his bike. We'll spend some time outside today, and take some pictures.

I feel so blessed!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

1 Corinthians 13

A lot of you may have heard of the group that was here protesting in Lubbock today. They are a group from Oklahoma (I think) and they are protesting at the funeral for the Velez boy who died in the war. Their premise from what I understand is, "God hates fags, and we are being punished by soldiers coming home in body bags." Which even as I say that, that makes no sense. I can't possibly understand how a christian can be a part of something like that. When I came home from picking the kids up, we were heading to family photo and I discovered that the church they are protesting at is by my house. Grown women and their kids were standing out there with signs that say "God hates fags!" It made me want to cry! When we came home from family photo there was a barracade and traffic jam in my neighborhood. What a perversion of religion!!! It really angers me and saddens me, but honestly I know that is what Satan wants. He wants others to get mad, and try to lash back...which completely defeats everything.

Love is what it's all about. As I've grown older and matured, understanding love has been a huge key for me. I never understood how powerful love and forgiveness were for a person, until I understood how much Christ loved me. It made me look at this world completely different, which is what God wants...a transformation of our hearts!!! Yes, there are times when I don't always want to "love", it seems there are those people who make themselves very unlovable, like those picketers at that funeral...and ya know I can't change them, but I can add them to my prayer list. I guess I'm just amazed at people sometimes, and really I guess I can't be too shocked at what I see others do, b/c I know I've done my fair share of things that don't make sense...and I try to remind myself of that occasionally so that I stay humble. I've felt so bad for that family. He's lost 2 sons in the war now, and regardless of your opinions on the war, it's very sad. And every public statement that the dad has made, I have just been amazed by his power and strength in God.

Well 2 years ago at this very time, my mom and I were getting us bean burritos at taco bell. Just what a nine month pregnant woman needs, a bean burrito. Unfortunately that bean burrito disguised labor pains for me. I went to the doctor the next day for my weekly appointment, and I was dialated to a 4+. She asked if I didn't notice the contractions. I didn't, I thought I had gas from the burrito. No, they were contractions. That story always makes me laugh. Then at 8p.m. that night little Kyle Jackson was born!!! He is such a joy. I never knew I would enjoy having a son so much. I was always used to little girls, I had never been around a little boy, besides my cousins. I'm going to post some pictures tomorrow. I am not sure what all we're going to do. I took the day who knows. Love to you all!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

I thought I'd update while I had a chance. It seems that things have been busy. This friday is Kyle's birthday. We aren't having his party until next Saturday...there seemed to be lots of scheduling conflicts with people, so we just postponed. Our little man will be 2 years old!!! Man, I don't have babies anymore. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old...that just seems crazy. I don't think he feels well, sometimes you just know. So we may be visiting the dr. soon. I forgot to mention that when we went to the ENT that he said Kyle is good for now. That's not to say that he won't have to eventually get tubes, but right now he is okay. And he did great on all the test they do on them. But everytime he gets the slightest bit sick, I always assume it's his ears.

My granddad, which by the way, spell check says two d's, so I guess I was spelling it right. Anyways, he's not doing so great. So far the plan is to move him to Plainview to a behavioral unit. They are going to try to get his medicine fixed, b/c she is just being difficult and violent at times. If he continues to behave that way, he will not be able to stay in Post. They will have to put him in a lock up unit here in Lubbock. At first, I shuttered at the thought, b/c I just had a terrible image of a "lockup unit", but then I remembered my week long career at Carillon. I was in skilled nursing, and I worked in a lock up unit for dementia and alzheimers. So it's not what I was really thinking, as far as being barbaric. I still hope they can adjust his medication so that he can stay in Post with my grandmother. Or he could go live with the man at Carillon who sexually harrassed me, or the the crazy lady who had multiple personalities, or the man who was always looking for his canoe. I have so many funny stories from that place! Old people...gotta love them. They are definately my favorite age group. On a serious note though, please pray for him.

My other grandmother, my Mema, started having chest pain on Saturday. I took the kids to Slaton and we ate lunch with her. She's 92, and still doing very well. She is doing okay, but she is going to have some tests done to see what is going on with her.

Madi is going to Colorado with Neva on Friday. They are going to Nathan's grandparents place. They have never met Madi. I barely met them last November. We went to pick Madi up from Neva's house. She spent a few days before Thanksgiving with them, and so we made a little detour to see his grandparents. I am going to miss her, but I know she will have a great time.

On another note, I ask for your prayers. I really can't give a lot of details at this point...if I told you I would have to kill you. So I'm just looking out for all of you. I know I am being completely vague, and I would hate you too if I read that on your blog and you didn't explain, but all in good time. Everything is fine...really very good. I just need prayers that I may listen to God's spirit and know that He is guiding me, and to trust that!!! Anyways, I will give more details when I can.

Not a whole lot else is going on. I got to see Ryder today. He is a cute little boy. They had his pics made last week at Family Photo. They asked if they could use them for display in the store. So if you see a little picture of a baby in there, it could be him. It's not that hard to spot, b/c he has a beanie on with his name on it. Well I wish you all blessed weeks!