First Day of School

Well today is the first day of Kindergarten for little Miss Madi! I'll post a picture of her with her backpack sometime later. We went to open house on Thursday and met her teacher. She is a first year teacher...bless her heart. She is an LCU alum and I went to school with her sister. So I thought that was pretty cool.

Madi was so excited. She barely gave me time to get out of the car this morning to take her in. We had the whole brigade with us, stroller and all. But it was a fun memory for all of us. She is going to one of the new elementaries that LISD just built, so it's a big day for a lot of people.

We are on the mend, I think! We ended up at the ER on Friday night with Mason, just to be sure he was okay. We had already been to the dr. once that day. He has had a horrible bug, not to mention breathing issues. Kyle and I both got it over the weekend, but it was just a one time thing and we were both fine. Mason is still struggling a little bit. They told me in the ER that this can last 10-14 days and to be patient. PATIENT???? I've been thrown up on more times that I can count.

I have another blessing to share! Some friends from Slaton are buying me a whole office setup for my house, so that I can take the kids out of daycare and work from home. Which will do two things for me that I need. One, save me a lot of money, and two, hopefully keep Mason healthier. I am so thankful to them for doing this. I am supposed to get everything set up this week.

Although it's been a hard week, it's been a good week. I've certainly seen the hand of God in so many ways this week!

Today is my sister's birthday. She is 28, which makes her younger than me. And she is my older sister. Yes, she is 28 for the 4th year in a row. Crazy how that happens! Happy Birthday Suzanne!

He's doing better!

I took Mason to the doctor yesterday, and it looks like the bronchiolitis has peaked and is getting better. His ears look good, and he is breathing a lot better. So we just have to do the nebulizer twice a day now. They are still refering me to the ENT, because of his trachea. I don't know if I mentioned this before or not, but he has a floppy trachea. Even when Mason is breathing well, he is the loudest breather in the world, because his trachea is floppy and not completely secured. There is tissue behind it that causes that. So the ENT will be able to tell if this is something he will grow out of, or if it is serious enough that they would want to do surgery to correct it. So we will be going to see Dr. Scolaro soon. I like him though, so I feel safe with what he would recommend. He is the same doctor that did Kyle's tubes.

I can tell already how much better being out of that duplex is for all of us. Mason slept from 8pm until 4am this morning!!!! He has never slept that long!!! I feel rather refreshed today!!! Anyways, well keep the little guy in your prayers and I'll let you know what the doctor says!

What a weekend

Well we are moved. I tell you I am just nuts. I know that this move could not be helped, but seriously...I am so done with boxes and packing and unpacking. I know already that it was a great decision, because Mason had to go back to the doctor saturday morning while I was moving, because he got fever friday night. He had bronchiolitis, which is different than bronchitis. He is on a nebulizer now, and the doctor said that if his oxygen saturation levels were any lower, he would be in the hospital.

I had mentioned before that I didn't think that my duplex was ventilated well. The lady behind us smoked, and I swear the smell came through our duplex. It always frightened me greatly having a baby in there, so I was working as quickly as I could to figure something out. So regardless, I would have moved whether it had been to somewhere else in Slaton or back to Lubbock. I chose Lubbock, because I knew I would eventually move back here since I was working here, and I wanted to find a place and STAY!!! I am very, very happy with my house. It is 5 houses down from Colt and Suzanne, and about 3 or 4 blocks from my other sister, Jenny. It is only a 3 bedroom, but it is big enough for all of us, and being so close to the fam helps, so I am just thrilled to be where I am at.

I seriously started packing on Friday night. Sheila came out to help me, and if it hadn't been for her, I don't know what I would have done. She did most of everything for me, while I was trying to console Mason, who cried for 5 hours! He is doing a lot better though. He does really well on the nebulizer. It's so cute, it's in the shape of a little beetle car. My mom was actually the one who took him to the doctor, and he said that getting out of that duplex should help a ton, as I would imagine. The store where she got the nebulizer said that they have already started handing those out left and right for little kids. They said it looks like RSV season is starting early this year. Oh yeahhhhhhh....I was hoping I had at least until November before I had that to think about. However, based on the issues Mason has already had healthwise, he should qualify for the RSV shot in October. I just want my little man to be healthy!

I am feeling a lot less stressed now. Last week was just horrible for me. I don't know the last time I have just cried so much. I was just so overwhelmed by that test, moving...etc...Sheila made me laugh really hard though. We were sitting on the couch trying to talk over Mason's cry, and I got upset and I said, "you know I'm just feeling really stressed, because_____" And she stopped me and said, "I'm just curious how you're going to fill in that blank. It is because your husband left you, because you have three kids, because you're the bread winner, because you're moving and you haven't packed, because you just passed a huge test and now your job is changing, which one?" I just started laughing. She made an excellent point! Sometimes it's so hard for me to step outside of myself and not take myself so seriously. I feel that I am constantly going 90 miles an hour, and I almost have to or I would just crash. I don't have down time. And really I don't like living that way. It's important to rest. Even God rested! I know that I have a lot to deal with and I pray for stamina to do the things that are important. I pray for the know how to take care of my kids in the best way, and to be able to pay my bills. I pray for health of myself and my children and wisdom to be the best mom I can be. But I am just convinced that satan is the one who adds insanity to our lives. He's the one who wants us to run around crazy busy all the time, because we start to lose focus on Christ. We don't have time to! So I am trying to rid my life of as much insanity as possible. Some things I can not control, but for those things that I can control, I am trying to say, "no more!"

God has blessed me so much, and although I still have so many unanswered areas in my life, I have to continue to rest in him daily...every moment!!! I am the only one who steps away from that. God hasn't moved. So I need to get where He is, and stay!!!

I hope you all have a good week. I will try to post some pictures later. I have lots of random pics from the past month.

Enough

"Enough"

By Barlow Girl

Written by Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio

All of You is more than enough for

All of me for every thirst and every need

You satisfy me with Your love

And all I have in You

Is more than enough

You are my supply

My breath of life

Still more awesome than I know

You are my reward

Worth living for

Still more awesome than I know

You're my sacrifice of greatest price

Still more awesome than I know

You're my coming King

You're everything

Still more awesome than I know

I love this song!!! I love Christian music. It is such a source of encouragement and comfort for me. I hope you all have a great weekend!

I did it!!!

Thanks to you all for your prayers!!!! I passed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so relieved to hear the news. I found out immediately if I passed or not. By the third or fourth question I realized that I was really going to have to put some thought into the test. It was pretty hard. And the hardest part was the way the test was worded. They definately want to keep you on your toes. I was so incredibly stressed about it, but it's over. Now I will just get my application into the state and I will soon be a licensed loan officer!!! I can't believe it.

Anyways, well I will try to update later. It has been a whirlwind of a week. I am moving on Saturday. By the way, I started packing last night. HeeHee...am I just crazy or what? No wonder I've been sick at my stomach this week!!! There is just so much going on, but getting through that test really was the most stressful thing, and now it's over!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways, well I just wanted to let you all know, and I appreciate all of you!!!

Prayer Day

I declare this a National Day of Prayer for ME!!!!!! I am taking my Loan Officer test at 12:30 today, and I am nervous! Please say a prayer for me!!!!

Is this really a secret???

The following paragraph came from The Secret's official website. This is how they describe what they believe to be revolutionary. I have not seen the entire DVD, or read the book. I saw it on Oprah along with the discussion panel, and then I also saw part of it when I was in Loan Officer classes in Dallas. You can read the synopsis and then I'll share my personal feelings.

The Secret has existed throughout the history of humankind. It has been discovered, coveted, suppressed, hidden, lost and recovered. It has been hunted down, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money. Now for the first time in history, The Secret is being revealed to the world over two breathtaking hours. A number of exceptional men and women discovered The Secret, and went on to become known as the greatest people who ever lived. Among them: Plato, Leonardo, Galileo, Napoleon, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein and Carnegie, to name but a few. Fragments of The Secret have been found in the oral traditions, in literature, in religions and philosophies throughout the centuries. For the first time, all the pieces of The Secret come together in an incredible revelation which will be life transforming for all who experience it. Some of today's greatest teachers will be presented in The Secret and will impart this special wisdom that has been known by so few. They include some of the world's leaders in the fields of business, economics, medicine, psychology, history, theology and science. Each of these teachers is living proof of The Secret; each of them a walking marvel of achievement and success... Included are; 'Miracle Man' Morris Goodman, who tells his awe inspiring story of how he recovered from paralysis by using The Secret. Dr. Denis Waitley, who used various aspects of The Secret in training Olympic athletes and Apollo astronauts to reach new heights of human endeavour. Best selling authors and philosophers including Bob Proctor, John Assaraf, James Ray and Joe Vitale, explain how they have created lives of phenomenal success utilising The Secret. Doctors in the fields of medicine and quantum physics explain the science behind The Secret. The Secret reveals amazing real life stories and testimonials of regular people who have changed their lives in profound ways. By applying The Secret they present instances of eradicating disease, acquiring massive wealth, overcoming obstacles and achieving what many would regard as impossible. The Secret reveals how to apply this powerful knowledge to your life in every area from health to wealth, to success and relationships. The Secret is everything you have dreamed of... and is beyond your wildest dreams.

Like I said, I haven't seen the entire DVD, and if you don't agree with me, please say so, but I'm just bugged out by this. The Secret is based on the Law of Attraction. What you think about, you bring about. Now, I am all for being positive. I think that there is great power in always seeing the best. And I think being optimistic helps your overall outlook in life, and does a great deal for you spiritually, mentally and physically.

When I first saw the special on Oprah, I was like, "wow this is great!" I was taking notes, and I just wanted to rush out and get the DVD. And then a few weeks later I saw it again on another special on Oprah. It had become that popular that they wanted to talk about it again. And as I was watching it, I kind of got irritated.

They talk about "the universe" and how it opens up to help us. And my thoughts are yes, this is a very spiritual world, but only because of God. Not because of man, or how man controls the universe. I can attract positive things into my life, but this is a very broken world. And lets face it, crap happens!!! And that "crap" that happens is what helps me to remember where I want to spend eternity, and how with God in my life I will make it through each day.

The Secret talks about how we attract bad things into our lives as well. I do agree somewhat. Do I think that people attract cancer into their lives? No! Do I think that I attracted my current situation into my life? Honestly, yes. It takes a lot of personal responsibility to admit when things go bad in our lives that we had anything to do with it, doesn't it? Susan, who is a fellow blogger has a quote on her blog that I just love!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have written it down and kept it in many places for me to remember.

God determines who walks into your life.... It's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.If God be your partner make your plans LARGE.

Dwight L. Moody

Now I'm not going to get into all the "what ifs" of my situation and how it could have possibly have been different had I not met Nathan, but I do believe that we all make a choices based on where we are at in life, and I'll be honest...I was not in a good place when Nathan came into my life. So I do believe that I have to take responsibility for not being mature enough to let go of the relationship. However, I don't regret anything because of the amazing, beautiful children I have.

I don't know, I guess what just bugs me is that I don't understand why it's so hard for people to say, "God blessed my life." Why does it have to be about "the universe" and how I attracted good things into my life. I didn't do anything. And I can't do anything without God. There are so many variables in this life that I have no control over, and I don't believe that I asked for a rock to hit my line on my a/c so that it would go out in the hottest month of the year. I don't believe I attracted an ear infection for Mason when he is only 3 months old. Crap happens! But it's how I chose to look at those situations and deal with them is what is most important. I can be the most positive person in the world, and I'm still going to have to deal with life. I am so thankful that God is my partner and giver of everything, because with him I am blessed.

I've had a really hard week. And at the same time, I've had a wonderful week. For every difficult thing that has happened, there has been a blessing in return. And I ask myself, is the universe working for me as some might say? No, I don't think so. God is working for me. God is showing me that although the last year of my life has been incredibly hard, those who remain faithful will be blessed. It is so evident in my life right now, that it gives me chills. There is a God and He is alive, and He is The Secret...I just hope that everyone learns what the one and only true Secret is.

I'm Home!

Well Dallas was great! I had a fabulous time. And it wasn't that hot. I think I left at just the right time, because it seemed like it was going to be a hot day today. I spent most of my time being lost and always wondering where I was. I'm sure Jenny got tired of me asking where we were all the time. I don't know how you big city people do it. I'm afraid I wouldn't get out that often for fear of not being able to find my back! I guess you get used to it though.

School was good. I really learned a lot. I spent three days in class, and learned a great deal about lending in Texas. Now I am on to take the test. They really push you to come back and take the test prep class, but really I feel that they just want you spend more money. So I am going to do it based on what I already know and learned this weekend. I am pretty nervous. She said the test is hard, because of the way they word the questions. It is 75 multiple choice questions based on laws, math, and definitions. I am planning on taking the test in about a week.

I feel pretty bogged down by it all right now, because I have to take the test (not to mention pass it), get fingerprinted, and get my application all in by August 31st, or the state law will change. And of course every single one of those steps cost money. So I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now by getting this all done. Once I get it done though, I will feel a lot better!!!

I did have a great time with Jenny. She took me out to some places I had never been, and we just had a great time talking and laughing. Jenny and I are similiar in many respects. One being that we are not big talkers. And it's nice to just to be able to sit with someone and not to have to say anything and still feel comfortable. We did get pretty nostalgic about our college days though, which was fun. Last night Tim, Jenny, Emily (her sister) and I all went to Joe T. Garcia's to eat. It was nice, and Emily always sparks great conversations. So we had a good time together. I am SO glad that I got to see Jenny and spend time with her. Next time it will be all for fun. I'm going to go back and not have to go to school. I was so thankful for her and Tim driving me around, because I'm afraid I just wouldn't have survived on my own!

The kids should be back in a little bit. Colt met Neva in Amarillo and is bringing them home. I missed them a lot!!!! I hated being gone on Kyle's birthday, and it's been wierd being without Mason! I never left the other two that early on, but this just couldn't be helped. I can't wait to see them. My parents got Madi signed up for soccer while I was gone. I can't wait to watch Madi play. She is going to have so much fun!

Saturday we'll have a little party for Kyle at Chuck E. Cheese. We can't seem to escape that place. Both of the kids love that place. I try to get them to branch out and go somewhere else, but no, they just love that mouse.

So tomorrow it's back to the grind. It won't be long before school starts!

I'm going to post about this later, but I have to ask you all something. And please, please, please, if you don't comment please tell me what you think if you have an opinion. Have any of you seen the DVD or read the book called, The Secret ???? What do you think about it?

Another answered prayer

Okay so I said I wasn't going to blog again, but I got some good news today. I said I went to see a new attorney last week, but I didn't give any details. Well I went to a non-profit organization called Legal Aid that helps families who are low income that need legal help. You had to apply, and they have to accept your case. They get about 60-70 cases a week, but have to choose only a small amount. And all the work is done for free.

Well I got a package from them today, and they accepted my case!!!!!!!!!!! I am just so thankful. I know that when people look at me I am not a picture of poverty, but I have learned so much about not judging a book by it's cover. I am thankful for the kind of programs that help people like me who are just trying to get on their feet and need to get some very big hurdles. I have learned so much about how I want to give back, and the kind of citizen I want to be.

Thank you God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!