Tuesday, July 31, 2007

More of the same

Okay, so now I remembered some of what I was going to post. I took Mason for his 2 month check up last week, and he is now 10 pounds and 3 ounces, and 23 inches long! So he has doubled his weight, and grown a lot!!! He's in the 25th percentile for weight, and 75th percentile for height. He is doing so well! We have already been having some problems with allergies, but right now there is not a whole lot they can do about it. His older brother had some of the same problems early on too. I hope this doesn't mean we will have ear trouble. I am just not even going to think about that right now!

I have been feeling really well. I can't tell you what the power of a decision does for you! For me, I just feel so free, and everyday I see more and more of God's blessings. It's funny, because I've been doing a lot of recounting of events and I remember such horrible, emotionally desperate times that I was just so full of pain. I remember just having to pray to get through those moments, and now I am able to look back and see how I did get through it, and by listening to God and trusting Him, He blessed me for it! And all along I knew that would happen, but it's so much harder when you're right in the middle of the pain trying to see out. You feel so trapped by everything.

I just feel like a different person, and it's wonderful. I know there will still be hard times, but for me to get to this point is a big deal. And I have no reason to believe that God won't continue to bless us.

I am looking at moving back to Lubbock. I know at one time I said that one of the many reasons I didn't want to go to Hell was because I was just sure it would be a place of perpetual moving. So, no I am not a glutton for punishment, I actually have a few reasons for doing this. One I didn't think I was going to work in Lubbock. I am driving up here at least once a day. And two I knew I would move back up here sometime, I just didn't know when. Another reason is my children and I can not survive in our duplex much longer. There is just not enough room for all of us, and that is also the reason why I think Mason has allergies. Call me a hypocondriac, but I don't think the air is good. It is not well ventilated.

So here is my plan. I want to find a 4 bedroom rent house in either Cooper or Frenship school district. I am partial to those districts. Is anybody else besides me like that? I mean, am I the only one who thinks they're better than LISD? I just am curious if I am being too picky. I am going to try to find a college girl to move in with me. I will give her room and board and pay her a little bit each week just to help out in the evenings around dinner time. I realize that may be a tall order, but you know it's what I want and I'm just putting it out there, and somehow it will all be worked out. I have no worries about it!!! So if you hear of anyone, or know a college girl who would like to do that, let me know!!!

Anyways, well that is about it for now. I probably won't post until I get back from Dallas. I hope yall have a great rest of the week!

Monday, July 30, 2007

Lots of Random things

Well it's been another week that has flown by! We ARE NOT in our new office yet. I think I'll just do my next post when I am sitting at my new desk. Supposedly we are doing it thursday. We'll see...patience is a virtue I struggle with!!!

My classes are reserved and my airline ticket booked...I'm headed off to the "big D" on thursday! I can't wait! I am going to stay with my old roommate and college friend, Jenny. We don't get to see each other but once a year at Follies, so I am so excited! I'll fly out on Thursday and come home on Monday. It's going to be wierd not being with any of the kids, but I know this is going to be so good for me. I just need to get away for a few days, and although I'll be sitting in classes for 3 days, I'm just looking forward to doing something new.

When I get back, I'll study, and then sign up for my test, and then be a licensed loan officer. I can't wait!!!

I have decided to go back to my maiden name. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't starting the job I am, but Nathan and I are essentially in the same field now. He's a real estate appraiser, and I'll be a loan officer. He's made lots of people mad, and I don't want that hurting me. So for professional reasons I'm going back to Gordon. I haven't filed a name change yet. First things first, I am trying to get the divorce filed, then I'll work on that. I didn't want to do it, because of the kids, but right now I just think it's the right decision.

I can't believe that we're approaching the 1st of August! Kyle will be three years old on August 4th!!! He is getting to be such a big boy! He will spend his birthday with his grandparents since I'll be gone, and then we'll have his party when I come back.

Anyways, well I've had other things to talk about, I just haven't had time to sit down and write! Maybe sometime later! That's all for now!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Finally!

I just got news that we are finally moving to our new office this week. Maybe even starting today!!! I am so glad. I am tired of my laptop actually being a laptop!

God is good

It's been a good week. I am continually seeing the numerous ways in which God is working in my life. Friday after I was leaving Cheri's house my dad called and wanted me to stop by the house. I was kind of annoyed, because I was driving from Abernathy to Post and he wanted to get off the highway, because there was something at the house for me. I knew they had been to Lubbock that day, so I was thinking that they had gotten me something. My thought was that I was going to be really annoyed if I stopped to get a small stuffed butterfly to hang in my kitchen window or something to that affect. My mother, bless her heart, has a tendency to buy me gifts that most 5 year olds would just love. That is part of the reason I love her, but sometimes I question how she really views me, because of the things she buys me. So anyways, I get to their house, and walk in and sitting on the cabinet in the kitchen is an envelope with the return address "Manweiler Transports" in Pueblo, Colorado. I saw that and immediately knew that was from Nathan's uncle Merle. I opened it up, and there were two checks inside. I just couldn't believe it. They will never fully understand what that meant to me. I feel so blessed that they did this for me, and will always be grateful to them! I don't know this side of the family very well, I've only actually met them once. Nathan's dad died when he was 13 and his mother remarried years later, so this side of the family is not as close as it once was. What they did for me helped me so much.

Also on thursday, my boss told me he was going to give me a raise. He said that he thinks he needs to compensate me more for my time, because he wants me to stick around for a long time. Yet another answered prayer!

I wanted to say thanks to you all for being so kind with your responses. I was so nervous about posting that last post. I didn't know how it would be received, and it was just so incredibly personal for me. I may have a few critics out there, but fortunately they don't ever comment. I am beginning to see more and more how God's timing is so important. He has absolute purpose in everything he does! And I know a lot of times, I feel like I know when things should happen, but I'm so glad that He is in control, and the more I trust that the better off I'll be!

Saturday, July 21, 2007

It's happening already

I don't have much time to write, but I do want to say that God has already began to bless me. It is so true that when you make a decision to trust God all sorts of things start happening. I can't wait to share more with you, and I will soon. For now I just wanted to say thank you for being people that I can open up to and share and know you care!

BTW...I forgot to do spell check on that last post, sorry if some of it was hard to read!

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The Naked Truth

I don’t go back and read my old blogs. I used to before December, but I don’t now. I don’t think you can experience what I’ve gone through and not still remember the pain so vividly. King Buchanan, my therapist, told me that someday I’ll be re-married, standing at the sink doing the dishes and I’ll think about what happened and still remember the pain, but know it is a very distant memory. (The only thing about that scenario I don’t like is that I’m still doing the dishes!) So for now I don’t read them, someday I’m sure I’ll go back and read them, but before December the person I was then is kind of foreign to me now. I feel bad for that girl, and I pity her for what was about to happen to her, and honestly I have some anger for her too. Anger because I didn’t know what was about to happen, and angry because I allowed myself to be put in the situation, and most of all angry because I was incredibly blind. I have all sorts of legitimate reasons why I don’t have to be angry at myself, but none the less, I still have periods when I ask myself, “How could you have been so stupid?” But those are issues that I have to work out for myself, because I am well aware that what happened actually had nothing to do with me. I do have anger for him and I realize that this was his problem and his doing. I know who was doing the lying, cheating, and overall betrayl. So I don’t beat myself up over it, I just get angry at the situation.

I often think about my marriage and think about the time frame of when things started going wrong and started to change. I truly believe that he was not the only one who changed. I had changed a lot too. In fact looking back I would say the road that we were once on together as a couple took a split in complete opposite directions and I chose to go one way, and he chose to go the other way. It was just about 3 years ago when I believe I really started to have a desire to grow closer to God. It was right after the incident where I was mis-diagnosed with HIV. If you want to go back and read the full account it is in my August of 2006 posts. It should be around August 13th. I know a lot of you didn’t read my blog then. Basically what happened was when I gave birth to Kyle they got my blood mixed up with another mother who delivered the same time I did. I had been home from the hospital about 4 days, and my doctor called me and told me that I had HIV, and that we would need to start Kyle on medicine immediately, so that hopefully he wouldn’t end up contracting it. Long story short, it was a horrific thing to have to go through that broke my heart. I remember begging and pleading with God to not to have to go through it. That did something to me, that I truly believe, has caused me to never be the same. My heart changed, and I don’t think God has ever let me go. He has had something intended for me, and that was just the start to my transformation. I remember longing to really know God, and be of service to him. What I really had in mind was teaching more classes, helping host showers, cook for potluck, etc…I didn’t intend to be of service to him in the way that I have become now. But obviously God knows something that I don’t, and knows best how to use the people who are willing and available to him.

Since that time, although the HIV scare was an event that brought Nathan and I closer, he wasn’t ready spiritually like I was to make a move. We both continued on with our lives, and I think that we lived very separate lives and just lived together. I tried my best to be the best mom and wife, and I was a good one. I love to nurture, and I believe that is a gift that God has given me and it’s evident in my children, because they are very loving.

Nathan began to change even more. Even small things like his language. And really language is no small thing. I believe what comes out of your mouth is a true indication of what is in your heart. And the more I was around him, the more I saw how broken his heart really was. So really on the day when he told me that he was done, and didn’t want to be married anymore, I know now that it shouldn’t have come as any huge surprise. I see it all so clearly now. But then, oh no, I didn’t even know what had hit me.

I don’t talk about him or the situation very much. I have tried to keep it as private as possible. I don’t mind talking about if asked, but I’ve never given details as to what really happened, and that is for several different reasons. The first reason is because of my children. I want to protect them from as much as possible. I can’t control what he does, but I can control what I say and do and how I react. However, I know that my children will someday have to make a decision about what he did, based on their involvement with their father. The second reason is because I am a Christian, and I think you have to be very careful about what you say and do. And thirdly, I didn’t want to “bite the hand that feeds me.” The first two reasons should be my sole motivation, however, I have allowed reason number three to control me, and allow me to live in fear.

Well I have come to a point where maybe it’s time to open myself up a little more. My blogging journey has led me to a place I never thought I’d be. I started doing this for fun, because I had seen some of my friends blogs and thought I’d join in. I soon discovered a whole new world. What was once just for fun became a network of people who have been so loving and supportive of me. I can’t even remember how I stumbled on to some of you, but here we are!

Most of you started reading after December when my life took a dramatic turn. I started to say a turn for the worse, but that is really not the case. My life is much better now. I know that I don’t owe an explanation to anyone about how it is that I got here, but I really do want to share. I believe God has led me to share.

The person I married is clearly not the person I know now. I do not have the faintest idea of who my ex is. I am convinced that I was married to Dr. Jekyl and Hr. Hyde. When I married him, he was a wonderful husband, father, friend and provider. I was so proud of the obstacles that we had made it through.

Somewhere along the way, something happened and the something is what I’ve never been able to figure out or “diagnose.” He changed and became a different person, unbeknownst to me. He began living a different life, all the while I was trying to be Suzy Homemaker. I suppose that while that was going on, I was also in the midst of changing too, like I said earlier. And maybe he wasn’t changing, maybe it was all me. I don’t know…the analyization can become exhausting, and gets me no where, so I have just decided that it is what it is. No matter what answer I come up with, it doesn’t change anything, so I’m retiring from it.

I’ve been thinking a lot about those following two months after he walked out. I do not even remember them. I remember Christmas day. Had I been a pane of glass and you had thrown a rock at me, I would have shattered. It was so incredibly difficult to hold it together for the kids. I remember packing a little bit, I remember cleaning out the garage with my dad. Oh the absolute mess that was so symbolic of our chaotic lives!!! I remember moving day, and I remember closing the door on that house and also a chapter in our lives. Beyond that I don’t remember anything. Seriously!!! I don’t remember what I did during the day, or at night. It is just a huge blank to me. It’s weird to think, but it’s almost as if I blacked out for two months. You know the footprints poem, where Jesus carried him, because there was only one set of footprints? Well that is how I feel about those two months. I wonder if I just didn’t go to sleep emotionally, and God didn’t carry my body along physically. That sounds really weird, but I have no other explanation.

I remember vividly everything past moving day as if it were yesterday. It was at that point that I had to start dealing with life and what had just happened. I had made it through the shock. So I dealt with the horrible grief, depression, sadness, lonliness, ANGER, etc. all the time right in my face. I went through divorcecare, counseling, and anything else that I thought would help me deal with this in a positive way. I was bound and determined to make something good of out this. All the while dealing with a cold, distant, emotionally cruel person, who I used to call my best friend. And for me, the hardest part of this has been dealing with the literal death of a person that I thought I knew, and someone who I loved dearly! He is no more, and I don’t know if he ever will be again. I pray for him all the time, and hope that he will turn to God someday, but that is a choice that HE has to make. No one can make it for him, and I can’t continue to wear the feelings that I wish he had. He has to learn how to feel it himself.

He promised me this great life. I’m sitting on the couch trying not to pass out from shock of what I am hearing, and he’s telling me how great it’s going to be. He’s going to leave me with both kids, and oh yeah I’m 3 months pregnant, and he’s going to give me everything!!! (Which amounts to a bunch of debt) And bonus*** he’s going to support me so that I can stay home with the kids and I won’t have to work.*** Life will be great! He goes on to say that life will be great, because I will meet someone someday that wants to go to baseball games, recitals, PTA meetings, etc…because he just doesn’t want to. Feel any of my anger now???

God has brought me to a place where I know my importance and worth. I am not the same person I was 6 months ago, 1 year ago, or even 5 years ago! My name is still Larissa, and I’m not planning on changing it, but God has transformed me into a person who has faced many fearful moments and has learned that when you rest in God there is no reason to fear. I simply can not allow the thought of what someone might do to me control me. I have allowed it to go on for seven months, and if I truly want to rid myself of any doubt and live in the complete trust of God, I have to jump in with both feet. I have tested the water many times, but stepped back, because I didn’t want to lose what he was giving me. However, I can’t live that way anymore, and I believe with all my heart that God has led me to this point. He is asking me, “do you trust me? Not just a little bit, but with all your heart. Your favorite scripture is Proverbs 3:5,6 so start living like it, and quit pretending.” So I am putting all my cards on the table, and I’m not going to be afraid anymore of the one who feeds me, because I've made the decision that he is not going to feed me anymore. No, I am not being stupid and thinking that I am just not going to not take anything from him. I have just decided that he is unreliable and too inconsistent for me to depend on anymore. He still has responsibilities, but I can't make him keep those. I’ve heard all the excuses a thousand times and I’m sick up to here with it all. I’m tired of hoping that he’ll come through, when it’s obvious that I’ve got my hope in the wrong thing!!!

Don’t get me wrong, I do feel fear. I don’t think you can get through life without feeling fear, but I don’t have to let it control me. If I allow the fear to paralyze me, then I will never be able to experience the true freedom that Christ wants me to have. This is a hurdle that I must jump right over, and I think that I might find it is actually just a pebble on the ground that requires a small step and nothing more. Right now it just looks huge. As Joyce Meyer says in this awesome book I am reading, The Confident Woman, “Feel the fear, and do it afraid.” So I’m doing it afraid knowing once again, that God is carrying me along.

I know I’ll always have a roof over my head and food on my table. And as I’ve said before he can do a lot to me, but he can’t take my faith, my love for my children, or my dignity. Everything else is negotiable. Now I do at times start to feel my dignity a little tested, but I still hold my head high. This is temporary and I’ve got too many good things working for it not to be temporary!

I was watching Finding Nemo the other day with Kyle. A particular statement that Nemo’s father made jumped out at me. “I did not come this far, to be eaten for breakfast.” Amen and hallelujah!!! I think that statement has just become my new motto, and I may just make a t-shirt with that one there. This situation WILL NOT get the best of me. I have come too far to just give up and give in, especially when I serve a God who wants to bless me and has no intentions of hurting me.

This morning I was standing in the bathroom putting on my makeup. I looked myself in the mirror and said, “ya know I’d rather be looking myself in the mirror knowing that God is guiding my every move and decision, than standing there wondering if he’s going to give me money this week.” That is an absolutely horrible way to live. Nobody should have that much control over you…nobody! So I find myself having to make some very bold decisions and moves that I am not comfortable with, but the more I do it the easier it becomes.

So I do ask for your prayers that I may face what I do not like feeling, and that my life may be a testament to the miracles that God does in our lives everyday. He has already shown me that in so many ways, and I know this is just something else that I have to get through. I will persevere and be blessed for it. AND I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT! I am just convinced that this is a trial in my life that God is working through me to show just how awesome He is! I am only strong, because of the strength that He gives me!

So I have bared it all, and I can’t tell you how much better I feel already. God never said it was going to be easy, but He did say it would be worth it. I will do what it is that I can do, and allow God to do what I can’t. And you know that’s all He wants. He just wants me to trust Him and rest completely in Him. So here I go………………

What a busy week!

This week has been so busy! I am so ready for swimming lessons to be over, because they just seem to take a chunk out of the day, so I don't get much done. Tomorrow I get to spend some time with my friends Chrissy and Cheri. I can't wait!!! And last night I went to a lingerie shower for my friend Cari who is getting married tomorrow. I got to see some old friends which was so cool!

Okay, so I have this post that I am going to make and I'm going to try to get it posted today. I already have it written, but I keep editing and re-editing it. It's a very personal post, but something I really think I need to share. Anyways, Lord willing it will be done today. Sorry Suzanne!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Ryder's 1st Birthday




Suzanne and Ryder
Jenny, me, mom, and Suzanne

Mason taking life hard at the party.
Today is Ryder's 1st birthday! I can't believe he's one year old!!!


Lots of pics!


If Madi's mouth looks funny, that's because she just ate a blue sucker. (That tasted like wood she said...no I don't feed my kids wood. I'm not sure what that's all about.)

Taking turns jumping in.
Ryder and my mom in the pool for his lessons.

4th of July
Madi floating
Kyle floating
Kyle doing his torpedos.
Well here is what we have been doing the last week, and will do for 2 more weeks. I don't know why I always think this will be fun. I really need to get out more often so I can re-evaluate my definition of fun! The kids are having fun anyways! Kyle is doing so much better. He's actually enjoying it now, and it's so good for them.
I stuck in one pic of Mason from July 4th. He has a little patriotic outfit from his great aunt Nancy.
Things are going well. Mason will be 8 weeks tomorrow!!! I just can't believe it. Time is flying, but I'm not sure what I've been doing with my time. It just seems like we're always busy. I think I spend half of my life on the road right now. At least when swimming is over, we won't be driving to Post everyday. Gas is killing me!!!
A lot of you have mentioned how my spirits seem to be lifted. And they really are. It's hard to explain, but I am just feeling so much better. The hard days still come, but none of us are immune to those, and never will be. I think working has helped me a lot. It's just nice to feel that someone values the skills that I have, and appreciates my opinion. I am planning on going to Dallas the weekend of August 4th to take my loan officer license classes. That is the weekend of Kyle's birthday, which I am not all that thrilled about, but it's the only weekend I'll be able to. They just passed a new law that effective September 1st you have to have all your classes in and have passed the state test or you will have to have double the amount of classes. So, I have to get it done now. I'm really excited to start doing some marketing, and making some old contacts I have to get some business. It's kind of a challenge for me, and normally I'm not like that. I get scared with the idea of "sales" but it's really different this time. For one I have a lot more confidence in myself, but mostly I know that God has really brought me to this point, so I have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'll get there, and since I'm with God on this one, it's going to be great and I know it. I'm just really looking forward to it.


Thursday, July 12, 2007

Thankful Thursday




Lyndy always does a "Thankful Thursday" post and has inspired me to be more vocal about the things in my life that I am thankful for. So here goes...
I am thankful for my kids. Although life seems crazy somedays, I don't know what I'd do without them. They bless me in so many ways.
I am thankful to God for entrusting me with my kids. They are gifts and I believe they should be seen that way too.
I am thankful for a job that provides me some hope for a better future.
I am thankful for my mom...there are so many things to say about that one! She does so much for me, and I would just be a wreck without her.
I am thankful for all my friends. I know so many wonderful people who support me and love me no matter what.
I am thankful for getting to work out. That may sound strange, but I have seen how much it is helping my stamina and mood. I feel energized, and I've lost 2.5 pounds this week. Woohoo!!!
I am thankful for the hope that God gives me everyday....everyday...EVERYDAY!
"FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU A HOPE AND A FUTURE."
I AM BLESSED!!!

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Update

Well I have recovered from the dog incident...thanks for all your concerns! Life is just funny like that somedays. Fortunately it's not like that everyday.



Things are going good. We started swimming lessons yesterday. Kyle absolutely hates them. Hopefully he will adjust. Madi loves it, and is just swimming like a fish. They are in the same class together, so she tries to console him. She said yesterday, "Kyle we'll talk to Susan when class is over about your issues." She was definately in full form yesterday. She was cracking me up.



Mason has started to sleep a little bit more, thank goodness! Of course he doesn't do it on nights when I am working the next day, but once again that is life.



Speaking of work, things are going good. I am just so excited about the opportunity that this is going to give me. Of course it takes time to build up a business, but hopefully soon I can give more details about everything. I just don't want to spill the beans quite yet, before I get the full go ahead and know everything for sure. For now I am still doing it 2 days a week. We should be moving into our new office within the next week or so. I can't wait! I am feeling a little stir crazy right now, because we are sharing an office and a desk really.

Other than that, not a whole lot is going on. I can't believe that we're approaching the middle of July already! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!! Not really with the heat and everything, but I am starting to get excited about Christmas. It's my favorite holiday!


I am having some computer woes. My laptop is heating up and shutting off! It's only 2 years old. I called this computer guy and I'm supposed to go drop it off to him to see if he can fix it. I told him that it was doing some other wierd things too. One day I got on here and all my icons were gone. He said my hard drive could be crashing. Oh good...that's so good to hear. I really hope it's not, but I guess I'll find out.

Anyways, well that's all for now. Later gaters!

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Poor Katie

This morning I had to go to Lubbock. I literally rolled out of bed and got the kids ready, sacrificing my beauty, and headed out the door. I didn't take anything with me that I might need because I was only going to be there about an hour.

On my way up there Jenny, my sister calls and asks if I can do her a favor. I'm not sure why she didn't call Suzanne, the sister who has a husband and only one kid, but whatever...she called me. Katie the dog of the people who she has been house sitting for was throwing up and needed to be taken to the vet. I know the people she was housesitting for, and I know Katie. She is the absolute sweetest dog in the world. She is very old and has many health and emotional problems. She is "storm phobic" meaning anytime it rains Lynn or Diane have to go home to be with her or she will crash through the windows because she is terrified of thunder. They arranged to have a sitter on July 4th, because fireworks will do the same thing. Katie is 13 years old.

Jenny tells me that "all I have to do is just pick her up, she's already talked the vet and I can just drop her off and they'll keep her." Sounds easy...which should have been my first clue. WHAT SOUNDS EASY IS NEVER EASY. I get to their house and have to turn off their extensive alarm system. I got Katie and set off for the vet. Well in case you're not aware there are 2 vets within a block from each other here in Lubbock. I got in the door of the first one, and I tell you every dog and cat must be sick this weekend, because they were all there. I didn't have a leash, and Katie is huge. If she had sprinted off, I would have bit it right there on the floor. And I didn't know how the other dogs would react to her. I stood in line 10 minute, with my kids (all three) in the car. I didn't want to leave them in the car, but I thought I was "just dropping her off" and a tornado would have taken place had I tried to go in there with all three of them and a big dog. So after being in line, they tell me they don't know Katie and I probably need the vet a block away. So I go over there. As we're getting out of the car, Katie takes a big ole' crap all over their sidewalk leading right to the front door. There were people looking at me like, "can't you control your dog?" I get in there and they said she can't stay. I have to wait in line to be seen by the doctor. I told them I couldn't. The lady told me to just bring my kids in. I was like are you insane lady, do you know what you're asking?

So I go out to the car, and I told Jenny she was just going to have to leave work and come up there. I'm sitting in my car with Katie and my kids and the vet comes out there and yells at me and tells me that Jenny was rude to his staff and Katie will not be seen if we're going to be so rude and be in such a huff. Situations like that I just don't know how to handle. I am like a deer caught in headlights. I don't appreciate being attacked when really I am just the messenger. I always react by getting upset, so I did. And I've been frazzled all day because of it! I just don't like rude people, and I know that I was not mean to them. I just didn't know what to do and I was frustrated that I was given the wrong information about dropping her off. I had told them I would clean the poop off their porch when I walked in the door, but I decided against that. They can do it themselves after the way he treated me.

All of that to say, poor sweet Katie has congestive heart failure and has blood in her lungs. They put her on medicine, but the prognosis isn't good because her heart in enlarged. What a horrible thing to have to tell Lynn and Diane while they're on vacation. That dog grew up with their kids! She really is the sweetest dog I've ever met!

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Independence Day


Happy 4th to everyone! I have really grown to love this holiday over the years. Maybe it's because the older I get the more I appreciate freedom...and freedom in every sense of the word. This year I feel paticularly free. I feel Christ has given me a sense of freedom that helps me in all areas of my life. And of course I am extremely grateful to the men and women who fight for my freedom daily. I believe that is the most noble of all professions. My cousin Jay Waylon is a USMC firefighter in Arizona. I think of him today and thankful for the love in his heart for what he does.
I believe that for myself over the next year I will gain a lot more independence as I start to venture on some new things. And I'm really excited. And I'm so thankful for the doors that God is opening for me. I hope you all have a great 4th of July!

Tag!

Okay so Lyndy tagged me, and I read how I'm supposed to move my name to the top of the list and add more people, but I got kind of confused on the directions, which happens easily. So I just decided to tag 5 people, who are under no obligation to do this if you don't want to. It's just for fun. The brain power that it would have taken me to figure out how to do this right would have just been too much, and well these days I must concerve as much brain as I can.

1. What were you doing 10 years ago?

I was at White River Youth Camp being a counselor for the summer. That just seems like yesterday!!! It was so stinkin' hot!!! That was a great learning experience and a lot of fun. But I will say, I won't do that again! Living in a tent, yes at WRYC you live in large tents and sleep on cots. I'm much more of an air conditioner girl these days. I don't mix well with the elements.

2. What were you doing one year ago?

I was painting Kyle's room one year ago today. It was July 4th and we went to the park and cooked out with a bunch of friends. I have come very far in a year! Wow!!!

3. 5 snack you enjoy.
gummy bears
bananas
yogurt
cheese
diet coke/diet dr. pepper... Is that a snack?

4. 5 songs you know all the words to.
Anything from the old Church of Christ hymnal...especially 728b

5. 5 things you would do if you were a millionaire.
build my dream home
give my parents money to pay off their debt
give my sisters money to pay off their debt or build a house...whatever.
donate money to several different causes/church
invest
***go to disneyworld with my kids*** oops that was six, but I'm a millionaire so I can do more than 5 things.

6. 5 bad habits
popping my knuckles
biting my lip
not asking for help
procrastinating
spending too much time on the computer

7. 5 things you like doing
singing
reading
hanging out with friends
playing on the computer
working out...a new one for me!

8. 5 things you would never wear again
80's hair
mini-skirt
bikini
hair bows
?

9. 5 favorite toys
camera
computer
beyond that I can't think of anymore toys that I have!

Okay, so I tag: Jenni K, Suzanne, April, Marta, and Lisa

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Six Weeks





Mason is 6 weeks today. It is so hard to believe that he is already made it to this milestone! You would never know he was in NICU for 9 days. He is doing absolutely great. He is getting chubby chipmunk cheeks and a double chin. He has lost all his hair on the front, but he still has a lot on the sides and back. He is a great baby! He is so content, and rarely cries unless he's hungry. I am very blessed! I know all of that could change soon, but I will sure count my blessings now that he is easy to take care of. I had his pictures done last week. They turned out perfect. As soon as I get those, I'll post them. For now here is one of him a few days after he was born, and then some of him from today.