Wedding Bells

My cousin Lyndee is getting married, and she just called and she just asked if Madi would be her flowergirl! I'm so excited! This will be Madi's second time to be a flowergirl. She was beautiful the first time, but she was 2 1/2...which was very challenging.

At rehearsal I told her to be quiet and listen for directions. She immediately responds, "you mean don't say din'nt." The translation for that would be the "d" word. I know you all think I'm perfect, and as hard as I try, I'm not. There have been occasions when a bad word has come out of my mouth. When Madi was 18 months old, the "d" word slipped out, and I kid you not she has remembered it ever since. I was praying to God that while in the Baptist church my child would not start yelling the "d" word. And you know as it goes, when you don't want them to, they will.

In fact when I say, be on your best behavior to her, she always comes back with her list of words that we shouldn't say. "Mom, you mean don't say din'nt, shut-up, stupid, oh my gosh, oh my god, or butt?" Going over the list completely defeats the purpose!!!

Anyways, hopefully with her being 5 now it won't be quite so dramatic. I just know she will love dressing up like a princess.

I rock!!!

I rock!!! I am so honored to get this award! My friend, Lyndy, nominated me. And I just have to say, I should be nominating her, because she is amazing, and has been such an encouragement to me! If you haven't read her blog, check it out. She has an amazing way with words. And to think that six months ago I didn't even know her! I stumbled across her through blog land. Thanks girl! You rock too!

And on a side note, I have explained how computer illiterate I am, so it should be no surprise that I am having trouble adding names as links in this post. But all of these girls have a link on my sidebar, so you can just click on there!



So now I have to nominate 5 people for this award. That is really hard, because I think you all rock, and there are lots of people who don't blog, but leave comments, and I love them too! Maybe now you'll get a blog!



Okay, so in no paticular order..............



1. Lisa...I actually met Lisa from my sister Suzanne. Her husband went to LCU with my sister, and that is how Suzanne met Lisa. (it's actually not complicated, but I just made it sound like it was!) When Suzanne lived in Lubbock (the first time) she wanted to start a bible study group. I wasn't a part of that group, but even after Suzanne moved to Dallas, that group kept meeting. My friend Sheila became part of the group, and then invited me. And so Lisa and I became friends. And I just adore her! She is the mother to 2 beautiful children, and a wife to a man who LOVES golf! She has been such an encouragement to me, and a huge supporter, and I'm so glad that I know her!!!

2. Celeste...oh sweet Celeste. Just saying her name makes me smile! :) I met Celeste at LCU. She was actually one of the first girls I met. I had transferred there from ACU after a miserable semester, and Celeste and her friends (April and Amber included!) were so nice, a little stange I might add too. :) Yall know it's true!!! Over the years Celeste was just a very encouraging person, and through all the drama that college life can bring at times, she remained a rock. She is someone I have always admired and looked up to. She is married to Noel, and lives in Missouri.

3. Neva...my mother-in-law. Well she rocks first and foremost because she is giving me some sanity right now by keeping my kids, so she totally and comptletely rocks! And secondly, because she was at one time a single mom of two boys when her husband Eddy died, and I know that those boys tried to put her in an early grave with all that they did. And thirdly, she is a mom who has watched her son go through some really difficult things, and she still remains faithful. As a wife it is hard for me, but as a mother I can't imagine. She is married to Ned and enjoys being a preacher's wife and ministering to others.

4. Chrissy...another person who makes me smile. Chrissy and I have been friends for a long time. We have been through a lot together, and I have some very fond memories of us. My paticular favorite is when we thought it would be a good idea to float down Mackenzie Park river in a raft. Yes, I know who knows what is floating down that river, and besides that I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to get in that water. We had just come back from an adventurous summer at Pine Springs Summer Camp being potwashers together, so all I can blame that on is the bleach fumes that fried our brains. I don't think I've ever laughed harder with someone that I have with Chrissy...she is just a wonderful person! She is married to Brian, and has one son Cooper, and a baby girl on the way.

5. Last but certainly not least...Suzanne...now I'm not going to get emotional on this one, or at least try not to, but my sister has been there for me through everything in the last 6 months. We were never really close growing up. In fact I'll be honest, I didn't really like my sister when she was in high school. We were closer in college, but when all of this happened with me recently, she became a rock for me. I think out of everyone she understands me the most, and she is one who when something is going really wrong, she gets "the phone call" from me. I am so blessed to have her in my life, and she has taught me a lot! She is married to Colt, and they have one son, Ryder.

There is my five...y'all Rock!!! Love y'all!!!

Answered Prayer

Thanks to all of you for your concern. I have the best friends and family, I really do. I've had people texting me, emailing me, calling me, and leaving wonderful heartfelt comments. And I assure everyone, we are all okay. Situations are often beyond our control, as this was, and although sometimes things happen that I don't like, I still continue to see God working.

Today I had a job interview. I've known about it for some time, but I didn't mention it because I wanted to get more details. It was for the job that I mentioned back about a month or so ago that looked like a great opportunity. And it actually wasn't an interview, it was just the first time we actually met. Well I start next thursday part time. I will be doing mortgage processing, which is what I did when I was at Coldwell Banker. He is also paying for me to get my loan officer's license. So if you're in Texas, I can do your loan for you if you want to buy a house. You don't have to live in Lubbock.

I'm really excited! He isn't that busy right now, but I'm not worried about that. I believe this is an opened door from God, and God doesn't put opportunities out there for us that are too good to be true. He wants to bless us! Really for me, this is all sort of poetic. I never imagined myself in this field, but processing is something I am good at, and I'm very excited to have the opportunity to originate loans as well. It can be a stressful profession, but it doesn't have to be if you're prepared and in a good work environment. And like I've said thousands of times before, I'm with God on this one, so I know it will work out for the best for me and my family.

At some point, I will probably work full time, but I am okay with that. Being a single mom, I have taken on the role of 2 people, one being the financial manager...and having 3 kids isn't cheap. However, I've made it evidently clear where my priorities are, and that is with my kids. And he completely understands that, he is the same way.

I don't actually know what the name of my company is yet. There is a possibility that he will be partnering with a real estate company here in Lubbock, and we will office out of their office, or he may stay independent. He will know within the next 2 weeks. Either way, he wants me to work with him though. I am really am so excited. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this to open up that could help me with my finanical future, and this just kind of fell into my lap, thanks to my sister Suzanne. And I can't tell you how nice it is to have the feeling that I won't have to depend on someone for money for the rest of my life. There is something very psychologically draining about that!

Well I better go...I hope you are all having a great week!

I won't do it!!!

This has been a tough day. Something happened last night gave me quite a scare. Don't worry I'm fine and so are the kids. Nothing happened to us, but what did happen does affect us. And for any other family reading this, our other family memebers are okay too. I'm sorry for being so vague, I just don't want to post it on the internet. If you want to email me, I will tell you, I just don't think it's my place to say it right now.

Anyways, I was just so mad. I still am. I mean at some point I say, "okay seriously...I can't take anymore. I've had enough!" I literally fell on my knees balling and praying, and just thinking, "is this my life?" Surely I must wake up from this nightmare that has gone on for six months. Yes, it's been six months. That's crazy for me to believe. Sometimes I just don't know what to think. I know I will get through this, and I know that life will not always be this way, it's just the getting there that is the hard part.

I started thinking about Job and how he lost everything, and still believed that God was good. He never gave up. I look at my life and I just wish that Satan would get the hint. I'm not going to bow before him. I will give him nothing, and there is nothing he can give me to make my life easier. I won't do it, and I will say Praise God for everything I have! God is in control even on days when I sit and wonder how some things could happen or what their purpose is.

You know I can see myself in years down the road...I'm happy. I can see me using my situation as a real ministry to help others. I can see myself re-married to someone who loves me and loves my kids. I can see a wonderful blessed future, and I don't think God puts that out there to tease me. It's real, and I know it's what God wants for me. But I have to get through this, and I have to remember who got me through it.

God is powerful and He is working...in ANY and EVERY situation.

A much needed break

The kids left today to go back to my mother in law's house. I am soooo grateful for her keeping them for me. They will be there for 2 weeks, and then my mom and I will go pick them up. We're going to go up there and go to church with them and take Mason so everyone up there can meet him. It is hard to believe that the kids have only been home 2 weeks. It's been an incredibly long two weeks. Bless their hearts I love them so much, but honestly everyone has their breaking point, and I was about there. The summer time is a good time, because you don't have a schedule, but at the same time, it's hard, because I have all 3 all the time. And with Mason not sleeping more than 3 hours at a time, I am just going non-stop. I am hoping and praying that soon he will start stretching out that time just a bit to give me a break. The nice thing is that I know that this can not go on forever. Someday he will eventually start to eat less often, and will sleep through the night. "This too shall pass" is something I frequently say to myself. I don't want to wish away his baby days, but just getting through this time period is important. And really I think it's a hard time for any mom, regardless of the situation. Having a newborn is hard work! And mom's shouldn't feel guilty for "having to get through it". Sometimes it's just that way.

I do have big plans for the next two weeks. I got a gym membership with my sister today. I am really working on my goal of losing 30 pounds. I've been eating well, now I just need to add in the exercise. They won't keep babies until their 6 months old though, so I can't take Mason. But I think Madi and Kyle will have fun. So I want to get a jump start on that while their gone.

And really I say I have big plans...now that I think about it, I don't. I guess my big plans would be going to Target, Wal-mart, and United without all three kids. And I can have lunch dates without all three kids. I guess it just all depends on how you define big, and right now going somewhere without the entire crew seems to be big to me. I'd like to see a movie or two, swim, and of course take naps. Ahhhhhh...sleep. I think I've forgotten what it feels like.

So if anyone is up for anything, let me know! I'm pretty sure I'll be available.

Sleep, what's that???

Mason will be 4 weeks on Sunday. I would say we are almost through the first phase. I consider 6 weeks to be the first baby phase, and by that time you know you are starting to get close to them sleeping through the night. And oh how I can't wait for that. Did you know that the Tonight Show comes on again in the early morning hours. So does Oprah. And if you missed Karen and Abner (the news for you out of towners) at 10p.m. you can catch them again in the wee hours of the morning. And Carson Daly is just dumb. He's not even funny. I can't believe he has his own show.

The kids are adjusting to Mason pretty well. Madi likes him a lot, and loves to help. She really is a good big sister. Kyle on the other hand seems to have a little bit harder time. Not just because there is a new addition, but because he is just a momma's boy, and always has been. He likes you to do everything for him, and he is so stubborn! But all in all, they are doing well with him.

I am definately hurting in the sleep category. During the night last night Mason woke up every 2-3 hours to eat. The night before he didn't sleep from 11p.m until 3a.m. My mom came and got him at 3 and let me sleep. Fortunately the kids slept until 9a.m. that morning, so I did too. That was nice. All of that, and I have still managed to shower, do my hair and make-up everyday. I know, even I am amazed. Well except for today. I got kicked out of my house today, so that they could re-tile my bathroom. So I am a little out of sorts today. I've just figured out that if I don't keep going, and I stay still too long, I'll fall asleep. So I just press on. Sleep is overrated anyways, right???? :) I remember when Madi was born I always asked myself two questions. Will I always be tired? and Will I always be hot? I was always tired...no matter what or how many naps I had. And I was always sweating. Carrying around that carseat is no easy task. Well I find myself asking those questions again, but I know the answers. No, I will someday sleep, and someday I will not profusely sweat. :)

I don't know what I would do without my mom though. I am so serious. She has just been a lifesaver for me. I feel like I owe her so much for all the help that she has given me. I keep telling my parents that the nursing home that they will move into someday just keeps getting better and better because of all the help they have given me. I am SO grateful to be near them.

Well I better go...there is more to be done!

Crazy Busy

Crazy busy is a very appropriate title for how I feel right now in this season in my life. Yes, you are right, Jenni! However, we are doing good. I just feel like I work a 24 hour a day job, and really I do. There is always something to be done, or someone to be fed. But each day everyone is a little bit older and a little less dependent. That's what I tell myself anyways! :) I was a little down yesterday morning, because I was just kind of feeling overwhelmed, but then the strangest thing happened. I had to take Mason to his first pediatrician appointment, and his doc, sat in the room with me for over 30 minutes just visiting with me about life. She even opened up to me about some of the things she was going through. Right then and there I saw God working for both of us, because we were actually both able to minister to each other. It was awesome, and it really lifted me up. That was exactly what I needed at that moment to help me realize that God is continually working in my life.

Speaking of his doctors appointment...he is 6 pounds and 8 ounces. So he has gained over a pound, and he is 3/4" longer than he was when he was born. So he is growing!!! It's funny everyone looks at him, and thinks he is so small, but he is actually a lot bigger than he was! He is now moving into some of his newborn clothes, and out of the preemie things.

I will post some pictures soon. Me and my camera...I always seem to be having issues. I finally found mine, I had been using Suzanne's when he was born, and then I tried to download them from my camera and I discovered that I still need a different USB cord.

Life is crazy right now, but I still see how blessed I am. I am fortunate that I am not having to be a single mom who is rushing out to look for a job as soon as he hits six weeks, and I get to be home with my kids. Yes, that is hard...sometimes harder than working, but I see the value in it right now, and I know someday I will be grateful for this close time with my bunch.

Going home, growing, and PEACE!

Well we are going home today, to my house that this. I've spent a lot of time this week over there cleaning and getting it ready. I didn't really have the time or energy to "nest" before Mason got here, so I've been in overdrive somewhat getting everything ready to go home. It's been nice being at my parents house. My mom would get up with Mason during the night too, so I wouldn't have to do it all by myself and I could get some rest. We're going to spend our first night over there tonight and see how it goes, and then the kids will be home sometime tomorrow. I can't wait to see them, and hug them!!! It would be three weeks on sunday since they've been home. (I don't really count the couple of hours they were here last week) That is a long time!!!

Mason continues to grow and he is doing awesome! He's still pretty skinny, but he's getting a double chin already, and he's eating great, so I know he's okay. I haven't had any problems with him...he is just a great baby. We go to the doctor for his first baby checkup, so I am anxious to see how much weight he has gained and what the doctor says. To me, you can't tell that he looks or acts different than any other baby. I think the time in NICU just got him stronger and healthier. I can't get over how cute he is. We're having his pics done next week, so I will post them. He had changed so much already.

Other than that, life goes on as usual. It's been an interesting week for me. I've mentioned before that sometimes I feel like I live in the twillight zone. Well there have been a few occasions this week where I found myself there, but I think it's just all part of this process of me moving on. And I will have to say, how refreshing it is to have the confidence in knowing that God would never lead me somewhere to hurt me. I remember other times in my life when I questioned what God would want me to do, or if a situation I was experiencing was from God...but I have learned so much about the nature of God through this, that I don't question it anymore. I may not understand it, and I may not understand the role I am playing, but I do have full faith that God is with me and would never leave me or forsake me...and furthermore has a great future for me. That gives my heart such wonderful peace. I hope you all have a great weekend!

2 weeks...not 3 weeks

Mason was two weeks yesterday. And just to clarify, I really do know how old he is. I'm just tired, so I like to say the wrong date. :) :) :)

We were at Sara's shower on saturday and everyone kept asking me how old he is, and I said he'll be three weeks on sunday. Suzanne was there, and she was like, "um no he'll be two weeks." And well I was just sure that he was 3 weeks old. Well he's not, it's only been two weeks. That whole NICU thing really threw me off. It seemed longer than that!!! Now if I was a first time time I would have probably cried for getting that wrong, but well that's the first of many, many things I will say and do wrong and I'm well aware of that. So I am fine. :)

Last night we went to Ruby Tequila's with my whole family, minus Jenny, and my aunt and uncle and two cousins. It was a lot of fun. We don't go out and eat very often together, so it was just a good time. My cousin Lyndee is fixing to start nursing school in California and she wants to be a NICU nurse. She loves babies!!! Jennifer, my other cousin, we lived together for a while before I got married. She is a lot of fun to be around.

The kids will be home friday. I am getting excited. Even though I'm still a little nervous I am ready to get this started. It seems like I live my life in phases right now, and have for some time actually, but I am ready for this phase to start. First there was the pregnancy phase, and thank the Lord that's over, then there was the NICU phase, kids being gone phase, and now the kids coming home phase. Since I'm not pregnant, I feel so good, so I know that will make a big difference in taking care of everyone. And I'm excited for the summer. I think the timing is great because we don't have to worry about schedules right now and no one has to be up at any certain time, so that will make it easier on me. I am looking at putting Madi and Kyle in daycare two days a week to give me a break. I am not sure about that yet. In Slaton they don't have mom's day out, so I have to pay daycare prices for dropins, so we'll see if I will be able to do that.

Mom and Dad got a pool, and we're getting that put up this week. It's one of those big soft side pools, and I'm getting the kids a swing set, so they will have fun stuff to do to get all the energy out! And then they'll both start swimming lessons after July 4th. We are the crazy people who drive to Post for swimming lessons (30 minutes from Slaton) Why you ask? Well, my aunt teaches them, and that is where me and all my sisters and cousins took them when we were little. Madi took them when she was 3 months old. You do a mommy and me class until their 3 and then they can take the class without me in the pool. This is the first year I don't have to get in the pool. That gets very tiring!!! So we will do that for 3 weeks. Hopefully gas prices will go down a little before then!!! We can always hope. Suzanne and Ryder will be taking them too, so that will be fun. Their class will be right after Madi and Kyle's class.

Well that is about it for now. Things are going really good. I am doing well personally, and I just thank God for that. I am thankful for his healing power, because he has done wonderful things for me emotionally. I have had to deal with a lot emotionally lately, and I just didn't know I had it in me to do it, but God has given me the strength, and made me new. Thanks to you all for your continous support! God bless!