Timing

God's timing is also so perfect. Today, I was driving and I just all of a sudden remembered something back from about a year ago, and I thought to myself, "oh my goodness, that doesn't hurt me anymore." Those things that I questioned if I would ever be able to heal from. Which then led to several other thoughts that I hadn't thought about in light years it seems, and I just became so appreciative for this time in my life. Which then reminded me that, yeah things are stressful, but they're okay. They're WAY okay, compared to where they used to be. I AM SO THANKFUL FOR HAVING THE OPPORTUNITY TO CELEBRATE THE STRESS I HAVE NOW. That may sound a little strange, but it's so very true. And I suppose the things I find stressful right now, this time next year won't be all that bad! Outlook is everything! That's all for now...hope you're all doing well!

My date

I had fun last night. He brought me flowers when he picked me up. How sweet, I know, right??? My married friends all tell me that they are going to live vicariously through me now. I had a very nice time. He is such a nice guy. He is older than me...almost 8 years to be exact. I find the maturity very refreshing. And that's all I'm going to say about that right now! :)

And if you're wondering if that was the "drama" I was talking about last week, no, it's not. I wish it were that simple...dating is actually a nice diversion from all the other "stuff"...but I will say, that while nothing is still settled, things are looking good.

Anyways, I do have a smile on my face today. EVERYONE deserves to be treated special, and after everything I've been through, I can't tell you what a wonderful feeling it is. Have a great week!

Children

They're so funny...apparently I say "well" a lot. Last night when I was giving Kyle a bath he stuck his hand under the faucet which made the water splash over the side of the tub. I asked him not to do that and he said, "but I want to get my hands wet." And I replied, "well, but you can't do that." He proceeds to say, "mom, my name is not Will." I'm glad I have him to remind me of that.

I just had a conversation with Madi about why I don't like Bratz dolls. Y'all know me well enough by now to know that I'm pretty conservative on all fronts and to me they dress like hookers. Why would I want my daughter to want to have them as a roll model? Not only that, but I don't like their name. Bratz...it just sounds bad. Anyways, so she wants to know why I don't like them. Well, so trying to explain modesty to an almost 6 year old is a little difficult. Especially when you don't want to bring in certain subjects that make it all the more complicated or things that really they don't need to be thinking about right now...so on her own she decides that the clothes they wear must make them cold or choke them. For now, that will do. I'm not ready to go into form fitting clothes, short skirts, or fishnet hose. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for looking cute and love to dress nice, but I don't want me or my daughter to raise questions to others whether we are ladies of the night or not.

I was on the phone a while ago with the guy I have a date with tonight, yes, I have a date! Woohoo! This would be the Superbowl guy. My mother in law and I decided that it's much easier to have names for them like that, as opposed to real names, until they become something more. So anyways, I'm on the phone with him, and in the background I hear Madi yell from the bathroom at the top of her lungs, "Mom, I need some toilet paper!" Kids...what would we do without them???

What's Going On...

Do you like my new look? Well I have to thank, Melody for the makeover. She will do it for **free** if you give her your contact info. Thanks so much, I love it!!! If you are interested, go to my last post and look in the comments and you will find a link to her blog. There is no catch! And to think that I thought smiles were the only things that were free these days!

Well it's been a pretty crazy week. Mason got pink eye, which is you've never seen is just LOVELY. He's been on medicine since Monday, so he looks good now, but man that was gross! I don't know how many times I've said to my other two, "DO NOT touch the diseased child!" So far it hasn't spread to them, yet...me on the other hand I'm kind of wondering this morning if I've contracted it. Only time will tell. I guess if I wake up in the morning with my eyes matted shut, then I'll have my answer. My eyes are just feeling a little wierd this morning, but that could all be psychological...who knows.

I've had computer problems, or rather printer problems this week...I think I'm good now though. I've had to have someone come over the last two nights to help me, but I think all if under control now. This last time would be, because I'm a moron and accidentally hit "pause", so of course it won't print. These problems have made my work week very stressful!!! But I just want to hurry and get these loans closed and be done with them...they have been a real pain to me this week!

Everything else is going well. My personal life is going really well. I have a lot of excitement for a lot of things in my life right now, and I would say most of it is because I really am just surrendering the things that I have absolutely no control over...which right now is a lot. My friend Susan left a comment one of my recent posts that I haven't forgotten.

"The Israelites had to step into the water before the Red Sea parted. We move and then God does is how I see it."

Man, if that doesn't ever ring true for me right now, then I don't know what does!!! So I'm stepping out in lots of ways, and little by little seeing lots of rewards. And more importantly, see a real future in lots of things. I hope you all have a great rest of the week!!!

Space for grace

I've been reading an article that a life coach named Cheryl Richardson wrote. It's about surrender. I found a paticular passage interesting and thought I'd share. I'm really trying to adopt this myself.

"Say a prayer and let it go. When you're able to put faith in an outcome you can't yet see, you make space for grace."

Space for grace...interesting.

"And here's the funny thing about letting go: When we learn to surrender, we then make space for true miracles to happen. Are you ready for a miracle?"

Yes!

Would you like to buy a kidney?

Thanks friends for your comments...today has still been a little trying, but I'm alright. Everything is just one step at a time, and I do know what it is that I need to do, doing it is my difficulty. Trusting that when I do it, it will be okay...is where my problem lies. I've still been uncomfortable, but I've also just really decided that being uncomfortable is okay. Jesus never said we wouldn't be uncomfortable, but He did say He would take care of us. So I'm just trusting God, and trying not to eat all the chocolate in the house. Which I will say the latter of those two has been VERY difficult, especially with the dreaded love day tomorrow. I don't really dread it...I guess I'm supposed to since I'm a single woman, but I just say whatever! I will have many more Valentine's Days to celebrate, and I'm WAY happier this year than the last V-Day, so that in itself is something worth celebrating.

Okay, so the dentist...I liked where I went...it wasn't bad. I decided that I was okay being there and my appointment was less stressful than any labor I ever had...so I would grade that as an A+ visit. However, it also was a consultation, so it shouldn't have been that bad. What was bad was the "treatment plan." Okay, tell me two words you DON'T want to hear at the dentist??? Anyone??? How about "root canal." Yes, lovely, I also heard the word crown...I guess I'm lucky I just need one, but who's counting. I also discovered that there is a reason why they take you in a separate room to show you the "treatment plan" and sit you down at a table away from the rest of the population. That would be so that when you pass out from a coronary when they give you the bill there is an emergency exit for the ambulance to come pick you up. They probably have shock paddles in that room behind some closet door, or at least they ought to. I think my exact words were, "holy geez" when she told me how much all my work would cost...and mind you this isn't work I WANT TO HAVE DONE, this is work I NEED TO HAVE DONE. A whopping grand total of over $5,000. Would anyone like to buy a kidney? I think that's illegal, but I'm willing to work something out. Just email me. Now, all that being said, I do believe in trying to find the positive in every pile of crap, and I did hear something I liked. I will not have to have braces again. She believes that I can get veneers like I originally wanted. Another dentist in town told me that veneers wouldn't work for me and that I needed braces again. I really liked this dentists treatment plan...it was very interesting. So that will cost an additional $5,000. I can't live without both kidneys, so I will probably be waiting on that one for a while. HOWEVER, my new attitude that I'm adopting is just to not worry about the how anymore and let God take care of that, because I have NO CLUE how I'm going to come up with $5,000 anytime soon for dental work. I do have a few ideas to lower the cost...we'll see, but I'm just not going to worry about it. I can't...I'm too tired to worry about it!

Well that's about it...thanks again for the prayers...keep praying for me please!

Follies Weekend

Erin and SuzAnne
All of us...minus a few that came later.
Chrissy, me, and Cheri...my other two great buds.

Sisters...Emily and Jenny.
her 10p.m. bedtime was long overdue!
April, Erin, Darla, Cherise, Charlotte, and SuzAnne...yes, there was a CD there.
Jenn, Mika, Lauren, and Claire

Kristen and Monica
Mika and I.
Megan and Amy

Cheri and I. Jenny and our red high heels
Sheila, Amy, and Jenny
Roommates

I love my friends!!!

I had the most awesome weekend! Jenny, Sheila, and I discussed many times how this year was just great, because it seems like everyone is just in a nice place in life right now. It's fun to sit around and talk about old, fun times, but it's also a wonderful mark of maturity to sit and talk about the here and now and share those experiences. They both stayed the weekend with me and it seems like everytime I get together with them it gets even better. I'm so blessed to have these two girls still in my life! It can be so easy to let friendships slip away, especially when you're far away. Jenny is in Dallas and now Sheila is in Abilene...but they still remain 2 of my best friends!

Friday night was awesome. I think we had 20+ girls at my house. We just sat around and caught up on things and laughed about old stories! I was truly honored to have you all over to my house! I really want to make this a tradition. If someone wants to have it at their house next year, that's great, if not...I'll send the kids away again and we'll do it at mine! I think everyone enjoyed it. We stayed up until passed 2a.m. I am hoping that by Tuesday I will have caught up on sleep that I lost this weekend! I feel like a zombie right now!!! Next years theme has already been chosen: "Don't Judge Me." ***Okay, disclaimer we are all just a bunch of silly girls that enjoy doing really dumb things...so there is no hidden meaning behind that at all...just silly, that's all!***

Saturday we went to the Kappa/Alpha Chi breakfast. It was fun as usual. We were all saying how nice it is to just sit there and not feel like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems as though we're all just so comfortable with ourselves. I think that's cause WE'RE ALL GETTING OLD!

Saturday night Jenny, Sheila, Emily, Crystal, and Jacob (me too) went to eat dinner at Stella's which was just lovely and went to the show. Kappa's show rocked...they won first. Man the choreography these days has just changed so dramatically. Remember the days when we couldn't even do hip rolls? Okay, that's long gone! And as much as I hate to admit this, Chrissy, Koinonia's show was probably the best one I've ever seen. They did an amazing job, both clubs. I also enjoyed SubT...they always make me laugh. And I thought CD's did good, Kappa just had an amazing show. Oh and I heard some of y'all talking about an alumni show, I am all in!!! I'd like to run for director, please! :)

Today Jenny went to church with me and then we met Sheila for lunch. And now they've all gone home! I picked the kids up at 10a.m. this morning. Jessica said they did great. They behaved, slept well...overall it went great! So glad to hear!!! So now we're back in the throws of normal life, but I feel fully rejuventated, even though I am so exhausted. Usually every year after this weekend is over, there is always a lull for me...but I feel different this year. Next month is my 30th birthday!!! I'm really excited about that, oddly enough. I look forward to it, and I can hear all the old lady jokes in the world, but I feel great! I'm just a spring chick! So anyways...well I've got tons of pics as promised to upload, but I don't have much more time than this, but I will probably be able to get to that tonight.

Thanks so much for making this weekend special. If you weren't here this year, I hope you can make it next year! I've just decided that if you have as many friends as I do, then you truly are a blessed person! I love y'all!!!

Countdown...

Okay, so I am currently in a very good mood...for lots of reasons. None of which many of you would find too terribly exciting at this point, so some things will remain a secret at this point. However, stay stuned...I'm sure I'll be sharing soon. I'm also very nervous and anxious and even a little fearful. However, I say that will full confidence that everything will be all fine and good in time. I guess you finally go through enough crap to realize that any time it starts to get a scary, you have to believe EVEN more. Every single time I've started to feel that way, I've just put my big girl panties back on...who am I kidding, I don't think I've ever taken them off!!! You just deal...and you deal again...and again. I kind of think about that scene in the Indiana Jones, I don't know which one...I think the last one, where he has to cross that...well I don't what it is...ravine...pit...something like that. (This is so eloquently written...hopefully you can follow me here and understand the point though!) And there isn't a bridge, but he has to step out there and believe that he won't fall. That's exactly how I feel...I can see the other side, but there is a big pit in front of me, and I can't stay where I'm at. I have to step out and take a HUGE leap of faith and trust that no matter what, God will get me to that other side...where I know I belong. It's all good though...I'm not sad, I'm good. I'm where I need to be and God is leading me to the other places He has for me.
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Okay, on a not so serious note...party my place tomorrow night! I'll probably be up all night getting ready for it!!! There is much to be done! And please say a prayer that my kids stay well so I can enjoy the weekend...seriously! I'm looking at Mason now telling him that there will be no sickness...not this weekend. I'll be back with a gallery of photos for all to see!!! If you're traveling this way...be careful! Love y'all!

Follies, Superbowl, and Bloggy Birthdays!!!

Kim, me, and Rach

Okay, so I really don't have many pics. I do have everything in storage college related. :( Here is one pic that I always liked. It is from our "Cat in the Hat" show. For those of you who don't know what Master Follies is...well, I have no idea why they call it Master Follies. It's kind of a dumb name if you ask me, but...they didn't ask me, so they named it what they wanted to way before I was ever born. It is where the social clubs of LCU put on a choreographed musical act that has a theme. I guess that's the best way to describe it. There is a women's and men's division and the only thing you really win is bragging rights to "1st place" or "People's Choice" or you can always win second and go around saying "5,000 people can't be wrong." lol...sorry, I may have just gone to far there, but I made myself laugh.

It's pretty competitive, actually too competitive, but it should all be done in fun. Some of my most favorite memories are from being a part of this experience. There are master follies people and there are the non-master follies people. I loved it!!! In my next life I'll be a Master Follies Director.

And just to add on to the Kappa party news...any and all Kappa are invited. Some have told me that they didn't know if they were invited, because they weren't in Kappa very long, or they didn't graduate. EVERYONE IS INVITED!!! And I don't have any sort of way to communicate with everyone, so if you know someone who will be in town, invite them over!!! I've heard from a lot of girls, and I think we're going to have quite a crowd. I'm sooo excited!

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Okay, so enough about that...today has kind of been a blah day. It's a lot better than it was. Just life and circumstances beyond my control...and I'm trying hard to give that control that I want to have to God!

That and I'm trying to get over a cold that keeps coming and going. I've felt like a medicine cabinet lately with all my drugs. I had a headache for about 4 days, off and on. I took a muscle relaxer last night to hopefully relieve some tension off my neck. It did, but I felt hungover all morning. Which, call me crazy, isn't fun!!!

Things are good, still just putting one foot in front of the other, and on most days it works. I did have something funny happen to me, and I don't mind sharing, because I don't see it as a big deal. Sunday afternoon I got invited to a Superbowl party by my friend Elaina, who was in charge of our divorce care group at church. Y'all I didn't even know it was the superbowl until Friday when I went to Wal-mart and saw some decorated cakes. Even then I couldn't have told you who was playing. So obviously my plans for parties were non exsistent.

This party was to be at her boyfriend's neighbor's house. So I show up, not knowing who's going to be there...knowing pretty much nothing besides the fact that I had just found out the Giants and Patriots were playing. Well, I didn't know a person there besides Elaina and her boyfriend. She introduces me to everyone and after some analyzation on my part everyone there has a spouse or mate, besides the guy who owns the house. I looked at her and she smiles at me...did I just unsusectingly get set up? Yes, I did. I just love Elaina, she's been a real mentor for me...so I would trust someone that she said was good. I have no idea if he knew I was coming, or if he knew anything about me. Still don't know...but I think it was pretty obvious to him that Elaina invited me for him. She asked me later if I would be open to doing this again, and I told her sure. I told her I'm in a good place where this is becoming fun to me, so I don't know...we shall see! He's never been married, and no one had to call 911 when I told him how many kids I had or their ages. In fact, he didn't even flinch...so I take that as a good sign.

I'm just having fun, and that's okay. I'm allowed to, and dog gone it, I deserve it!!!

Well, that's all for now. I hope you all have a great rest of the week. Oh, I almost forgot!!! I was reading my friend, Susan's blog and she was talking about her one year anniversary for her blog. I went and looked to see how old my blog is. Y'all, Happy Bloggy Birthday to me!!!! I'll be two years old tomorrow, February 6th!!! Wow, it's flown by and I've done a whole lot of stretching and growing in that two years!!! I can't wait to see what the next two years hold! Thanks for hanging with me and coming back to read more. Y'all are the best!!!

Look what came in the mail!!!

I got this in the mail today from Sheila. I've been missing my friend so much now that her and John have moved from Chapparal country and become Wildcats. I don't blame them though...anyways, she sent this to me along with a happy Kappa letter. I know this means very little to some of you, but to others...we get it!

I am so pumped about this weekend. The babysitter came over today to meet the kids. Her boyfriend is going to be helping her. I hope after this next weekend she won't be afraid to babysit for me again! I really want to have someone that I can call if I want to go out of town, or just to have a relationship with, that I can depend on. That would be wonderful!!!

I'm so excited to have friends come over and see everyone...this truly is one of my favorite times of year. I want to post "Master Follies past" pictures, but I have discovered that most of the pics are still in storage. I've found a few...I'll post them throughout the week, and for all of you non- LCUers I'll explain what Master Follies is.

I'm thinking of going all out for the Kappa party. I'm not giving details, because I don't want to spoil it. I know no one would be suprised at the lengths I would go to to have it be a fun party!!! And don't worry, I will be the camera queen next weekend, so if you're not here you can live vicariously through me!!!