If you're interested...

Go here if you want to read something interesting. I think it's exactly what I'm talking about and/or feeling. I had to read it about 10,000 times and by the 9,999 time I finally got it. In fact, read his whole blog...some very interesting insight. A different situation than mine, but still makes you go hmmmm... The post I am talking about in particular is called "The Two Joys"...I may post later.