Sunday, December 31, 2006

A Dash Between Two Dates

You may wonder what my title means...I'll get to that.

Well happy last day of the year to everyone! I am actually really glad to be entering a new year. I always love the first of the year, because that means spring is around the corner, and that is my favorite season. I love the symbolism of new growth and new things that the season brings. And while we just barely started winter, those new things are just around the corner, and will be here before we all know it.

I am doing good. I still have my moments, and lots of them, but I am finding myself becoming familiar with him gone. Which honestly sucks, but like I said before, and like we all know, life isn't always fair. I can't stay in a self-pity frame of mind, because it does no one any good, and does a lot of damage to me.

A lot of people have been concerned about my self-esteem. I appreciate that, and thank you all who have had concerns for whatever reason. But believe me, I know that this is not about me. I am a good person, who deserves much more than I've gotten, and I have to separate myself from the issues that HE has. Because they are HIS problems, not mine. My kids and I have just happen to be the ones who are affected by HIS selfishness and problems. And yes, once again that sucks, but we now have a very good opportunity to change the course of our lives and focus on what God wants us to see and be a part of. And I firmly believe that God does have a plan for us.

I do not want my blog to become a venting place for a bitter and scorned ex-wife. As mad and as hurt as I may be at times, I still care for Nathan and want him so desperately to come to know Christ and the way I can be a part of that is by showing him the love that Christ has shown me. And guys, seriously I have learned so well in the last 2 weeks that love is what this world is all about. Corny as that may sound, it's true. It is what makes the world go round. God has asked us to love him and love others. That seems easy enough, but we all know that sometimes it's very hard to love others. Especially when they seem unlovable.

This morning at church the lesson was on Moses and the struggle in the dessert. The passage of scriptures that were read were from Deuteronomy and talked about how we should always remember our struggle, and how God got us through those tough times. This life is so short in the bigger picture, and ultimately all our lives are is a "dash between two dates" like on a headstone. Life seems rather cold when thought of that way, but it's true. Our time here is so little and it is of no use to treat others with hatred, when sometimes we may think it is justified.

I can not control the actions of others. But I am in control of my own thoughts and actions. My resolution this year is to love God and love others to the best of my ability. I don't think I can go wrong with that. I look at 2007 with lots of hope. I see it as a year that will have it's challenges for me, but God is with me and will get me through those difficult times.

I wish everyone a happy new year filled with lots of blessings!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy New Year!! Despite everything that happens God is always with us and I am glad He gives you strength.
Your faith is a wonderful testimony.
I can't wait to see you next month, I am planning to come MF weekend.

Many Blessings

11:15 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

What an awesome inspiring and encouraging post to read! I like that resolution and plan to work on that myself. I am at home right now and struggling with that in many ways and REALLY needed to read that today. Its my last day here and well I am ready for it to be. Getting irritable and need to be reminded to love, sad isn't it that I have to be reminded to?! Thank you for always being the uplifting person that you are despite what all you are going through. God is not only working in you through all of this but also THROUGH you. Thank you for letting Him do so. Love you.

11:46 AM  

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