Tuesday, February 27, 2007

A Few Observations...

1. How many times does Dateline need to do a "To Catch A Predator" Special before they get it that we all know that there are a lot of sick pedophiles out there. I mean seriously, it's always the same story. "I thought she was 18...I was just coming to keep her company...I didn't come here for sex." Please...I am about tired of it all.

Okay, so that was an observation, and not a few. I just had to mention it. (A special is on right now)

Today I went and sat with my mema. I will say someone who is passing on and the state of mind they are in, is an interesting observation. She is just having a really hard time letting go. I was by myself for a while with her and she would start getting upset and get really scared. It gets really sad. We are just all hoping she will pass on soon. Not to be selfish or anything, but it is just difficult for everyone...mostly her! Her birthday is Saturday. She will be 93. My mom said that a lot of times the elderly will hold on for an occasion that they really don't even remember. The power of the subconscious. It is an amazing thing!

I have decided to go back to counseling. Well really someone told me they thought maybe I should. I started a divorce care support group about 3 weeks ago, and the leader suggested it. She told me that she thinks I am handling everything well, but that I just have so much on my plate that I may need some help juggling everything. And I agree. I am actually very relieved to be going back. I am going to a new counselor this time. I am sure many of you Lubbockites have heard of him. His name is Dr. King Buchanan. I've heard of him, and heard a lot of good things about him. Yesterday him and I were kind of playing phone tag and he called me last night. It was after 7p.m. and he just talked to me. And I really had the sense that he generally cared for my situation and what I was going through. I told him how I was feeling and he told me, that I was a wise woman. And it made me want to cry. I mean to have someone who doesn't know me pay me a compliment means a lot. I don't have self esteem problems, but I think going through a divorce naturally makes you feel a little beat up...physically, emotionally and even spiritually sometimes. And let me tell you being pregnant doesn't help much. I mean I just feel hot. Especially with maternity underwear. Which I know is possibly the most random thing I could say at this point. But seriously, I hate maternity underwear. I am still not that big, but my regular underwear are getting too small. But I hate that maternity underwear can stretch all the way up to the bottom of your bra. Maybe I should go shop for some more and see what's out there. I was shopping a couple of weeks ago and I saw a maternity thong. Ohhhh, I don't think I could do it. A pregnant woman in a thong...oh whoever you are...you are a brave woman!

Okay, sorry for that rant. It was on my mind.

I go to the doctor on thursday. I get to have the wonderful glucose test that makes you burp for like an hour afterwards. Well it does me anyways. I always hate that. And then I hate having my blood taken too...yuck.

The kids are going to go home with Nathan's mom on Friday. She is going to come down and get them for the weekend and bring them back on Monday. I haven't been without both of them since all this started. I love my kids to death, but I am really looking forward to the break. I am going to the "Zoe Conference" at Monterey this weekend. I've never heard of it, but apparently it's a big thing, so I'm excited. I think it will be really good for me. I may even try to catch a movie. There are several that I want to see.

Anyways, well that's about it for now. I hope you're all having a good week!


Blogger Barbie said...

LOL about the underwear! I remember that well...oh gosh I would just blush if I told you with my second child I just wore dresses with nothing underneath the whole time;-) He sat funny and everything on my waist just bugged the heck out of me. Anyway, going through a divorce does a number on your self esteem no matter how healthy is was before it happened. Cmon you have just been rejected by the one person that vowed to love you forever...that has to hurt kwim? What helped me was to just tear the Bible apart and remind myself who I am in Christ...that is who I am not what my ex says. You ARE a child of God and you ARE WORTHY of love because God gave His son for YOU:-)

8:42 PM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

Reese, you're so funny! One thing about the underwear, try getting a bigger size of just your regular underwear. That's what I am doind right now. I have realized that I do not like it when they cover my stomach. If they are under my stomach I am fine. Ok, enough about that. Call me if you get lonely this weekend. The girls will be gone w/ their dad. I'm going pregnant cloths shopping Sat. Love ya!

8:20 AM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Okay, about the underwear issue--I cannot stand to have anything on my belly, it just drives me crazy. So what I've always done is just get a larger size of bikini underwear (the kind that have a lower waist) because they go just under your belly. It works great for me! Good luck :)

I'm glad that you are feeling comfortable about counseling again. I think that it will be good, too. It's always nice to have someone "separate" to talk to. And I'm also glad that you'll have a weekend to yourself. We all need that sometimes; I'm sure you do! Have a good one.

10:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm so glad you're going to the Zoe Conference because I am too and, like you, I have never heard of it either. I'll keep my eyes out for you this weekend.
About the underwear, (that sounds so funny) check out Old Navy's maternity underwear. They have some that are low waisted and really stretchy too. They are the most comfortable that I found when I was pregnant. :) Good luck with that and I'm totally sympathetic about the being hot thing too. :(

1:26 PM  
Blogger Lyndy said...

That is great that you are going to be going to counseling. I didn’t do that and really just held everything in for so long that I started having panic attacks. If I had it to do over, I would definitely try the counseling route.

I don’t have children but I had to laugh at the maternity underwear comment. Guess never being pregnant, I had just never thought of that before.

I am sorry your grandmother is hanging on like this. I know how sad that must be. I know that God knows when it is our time but you always wonder why someone is just holding on like that.

Enjoy your weekend. You most certainly deserve a wonderful time.

Big Hugs, Lyndy

1:23 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

I know-you think that all of those guys would have watched the show before-don't they know??!!

I pray that everything turns out well with your mema, and that she will have peace instead of fear.

You are a very wise and strong woman, and obviously an inspiration for so many as you walk through this difficult journey. King is great, I am glad he is blessing you. 3 of his girls are here at ACU and they are great. I pray also that it continues to be a blessing for you and will lighten your load.

I hope that this is a wonderful, relaxing and rejuvenating weekend for you!! Hopefully, we will run into each other. Blessings~

1:27 PM  
Blogger Kristy, Michael, Kalynn, and Kaden said...

Hey, good luck with the whole underwear thing. Some parts of being pregnant just suck.

I've been praying for you Mema and family. I hope you will all find peace soon.

Give me a call this weekend. I'm going back to work Monday and would love to catch a movie before I do. Maybe we could round up a few girls and have a girl's night out. Love you, talk to you soon.

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