Sunday, January 14, 2007

Truth

I am really tired and I need to go to bed. In fact "fly lady" just emailed me with a reminder to go to bed, because my body needs the rest. I have never followed one thing she said, but I must agree with her on that one. I do need rest!

But I was really wanting to write. I had a good time at my parents. I was just what I needed to get away and have some new scenery. It's always harder staying at someone else's house with kids. They don't sleep well, they seem to act up more, etc...but it was what I needed. And I am so thankful for my parents, because they just open their arms and do what needs to be done to help with the situation.

I've been thinking a lot about winter. If you're in Lubbock or anywhere nearby it is freezing right now. Everything is so iced over, in fact it took us an hour to drive from Lubbock to Slaton on Saturday morning. For a lot of people winter can be depressing. You are shut in, and you can just start to go stir crazy. I knew I would start feeling that way if I stayed in this house over the weekend. Being in the house gets harder and harder for me. I am really anticipating the warmer weather that we will get at some point, but this weekend while away at my parents I looked around, and the winter weather was just so beautiful and majestic. It was so quiet and when the trees would move you could hear all the ice on them. At that moment there was something so peaceful about the winter season for me. And then I start to think about life, and paticular my life right now. I do feel that I am in a winter season. I do feel the cold, and the ice, and the freezing winds. However, I know that my favorite season is around the corner and the ice will melt, and the roses on my front porch will bloom again. And the same will happen in my life too. But sometimes we have to go through our winter. And even in those really cold days, we can look around and see the beauty and majesty of God.

I have really been wrestling with so many thoughts and questions. Well I feel this weekend I was able to sort through a lot of that out and finally have some truth of the matter. That 5 letter word is such a powerful word. They say "the truth hurts", but they also say, "the truth will set you free." I can't remember who said that. Probably some important politician or a forefather, but regardless whoever said was right. I feel that I have been set free from many things. And even though the truth does hurt, I feel that I now have a new path to walk. I am in a new part of my journey.

Have yall ever heard of the DISC personality test? Well in that test I am split between the S and C personalities. S meaning SECURE and the C meaning COMPETENT & CAUTIOUS. The C personality has a high regard for rules, and is very analytical. Well that is very much me. They also find words like "truth" and "justice" very important. I have taken that test many times during all my psych classes, but my parents had the book laying out and I was reading it this weekend. I'm doing anything these days to understand myself better. Well today I had a friend email me and she gave me a lot of comfort in her words. She was talking about justice, and what a just God our King is. I needed to hear that, and it's funny how people don't realize the power of what their saying to someone else, and how God works through that. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in this life and the day to day mundane tasks that I forget about the power of God. I allow my eyes and ears to be descentized into believing that I am the one who has to get everything done. I don't give God the credit He deserves for being a very truthful and just God. That gentle reminder from my friend put me back into the frame of mind I needed.

"Our God is an awesome God. He lives in Heaven above. With wisdom, power, and love, our God is an awesome God."
I get chill bumps just thinking about it. Man oh man...how blessed am I! How blessed are you! Because we all have that in us. We all have the ability to look beyond the here and now, and confidently know that we may not know what tomorrow holds, but at least we know WHO holds tomorrow.
I may not be in my house when the roses on my front porch bloom. I have made the decision that I want to move. Me and my kids are going to start fresh in a new home and make some new memories. I am not running away from what has happened, I am running to a new and better future. And even though I may not see the roses bloom, I know they will. They always do, and there are just some things that you can count on to stay consistent in life. One, is that the sun will come up. Two, is that the ice will melt. And three, is that God is a true and just God. That gives me such comfort and understanding. And God is the ONLY one I need that from.
Now I can rest...goodnight.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This situation is hurting so many people. Those who love Nathan and you and the kids, are all hurting. The heartbreak is so widespread. It seems each of you are seeking comfort in your own camps when you could be receiving comfort from each other. I am praying for all of you.

Jean

9:47 AM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I find that you are finding comfort in God, which is EXACTLY WHO you should be finding comfort in. No one completely knows your situation but the other party involved, you, and GOD. I guess you can't listen to everything you hear! I am glad you are able to rest. Find peace and rest in Him. I love you and can't wait to hear the news tomorrow!

10:40 AM  
Anonymous Jenn K said...

What fabulous TRUTH you speak! Thank you for the reminder. Like Lisa said, you are finding comfort in God and He is the only one that can give you what you need right now! I pray that you feel His spirit wrapped around you! See you Thursday!

8:26 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

Larissa,

I have been out of pocket for the last couple of weeks because our computer completely died. But, now we have a new one and I am back. I have read all your posts that I missed and I just want to say again how amazing you are and how much you inspire me. I hope that if I ever have to go through a loss or experience as you have, that I will have that kind of strength and faith. Love you, girl :)

10:24 PM  
Blogger Lynsey said...

Hey Larissa -
I just want to thank you for all of your honest thoughts here. I am so sorry for all the pain that you are experiencing right now. I can't imagine dealing with it all as openly and honestly as you are doing. You have great faith in our Lord and I know he is showing great faith to you as well. May you continue to visibly see the ways God is walking with you and carrying you along this path. My prayers are with you and your kiddos.

3:07 AM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Wow, Larissa-it really is encouraging and inspiring to watch your faith and confidence in God!! Thank you for sharing your heart and allowing us to walk with you through this. Know that you are being lifted up into the throne room of our Father and I pray that He continues to lift you up as you trust completely in Him.

You are right, winter will melt and the roses WILL bloom-they always do :)

Oh, and yes, a very important & influential person did say that quote-: "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ~John 8:32 :)

Many blessings~

10:03 PM  

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