What I've learned...

It's Friday night and I'm home blogging...that's kind of depressing to me at first thought. However, after much thought, no it's not. Where else would I be? A bar, a club? No, thanks...I really don't want to be there. I really do want to be home with my family. Does it make a difference that I don't have a mate at home with me? Sure, and do I wish I had someone with me...absolutely. I've learned that feeling that way doesn't make me needy or abnormal. That is a desire that God put in my heart. That's why He created Eve for Adam...companionship.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've learned some very valuable lessons that I have carried with me and that have really started to shape my life. They have given me a lot of peace and rejuvenated me.

First, I heard a quote that has really struck me: "What we see mainly depends on what we are looking for." A man named John Lubbock said that, ironically. I couldn't agree more. If you are looking for mediocrity, you will find it. If you are looking for less than you deserve, you will find it. If you are reaching for the stars, you will find them. If you are looked to be blessed, you will find blessings. It's all in your mindset! If you think you can, you will...if you think you can't, then you won't. This applies to me in all areas of my life...personally, professionally, spiritually...etc.

I know why I've felt so good lately, because for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I'm trying to stay in a frame of mind that will only see the positive. I know the negative is there...I don't have to think about it to know it's not. I don't have to look at the many reasons why my life seems overwhelming. In fact I don't even like mentioning it, because then it almost gives the "difficult" a little power. I have to fight really hard for my hope. I don't pretend to think that my life is harder than others out there. I personally feel that I'm dealing with small beans here compared to some others. And on top of that, I am so very blessed to have the best friends and family that love and support me sooo much. However, hope for a new tomorrow is something that I have to fight for. I don't fight for faith...I don't think so anyways. I know without a shadow of a doubt that God is here and working...and always will be. Hope is a little harder though, but it's something that I will keep fighting for...I refuse to give up. I've noticed one thing about myself. The harder things get, the more I fight. Now, that is not an invitation to make my life harder...I think it's just something my Dad instilled in me as a child. Maybe he saw that I might need that. It's funny how things like that work out...boy did I ever need that!

It seems that once I did start to look at things in a different way and set myself up for only the best, things started happening. I don't want to settle...not for a man that is "alright", not for just enough money to pay my bills, not to just get by each day...I want to be great in every way...the way God intended.

Second, what I've learned about dating with children: it's stinkin' hard to do it properly. Once again I want to do things right, even if that means the hard way. Anything worth doing is worth doing right! What I'm about to say is absolutely in no relation to the person I met...just dating in general. I just want to make that clear...I have no idea if he reads this or not. (guess I'll find out...lol.)

All of the BIG conversations must take place upfront...sex, children, money, discipline, politics, religion, lifestyle...etc. We had all of those. Dating with children is an interview process. You have to find out if that person thinks the same way you do from the start, because you need to know if that person is even worth the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual energy that a proper courtship should take. When you do that, it can make the "soon to be relationship" take on a very serious start. You then have to be mature enough to make it slow down.

I learned sooooo much in my 3 week courtship...and I had a great time. I'm glad I did it. I was so terribly nervous about dating and this literally came out of nowhere, which was probably best, because I didn't have time to think about a whole lot. I just did it, and I'm thankful. I feel now I've broken the ice and would be much more apt to date now if someone were to ask me out. And I look forward to it! I discovered I am fun, and I have a lot to offer. I knew that already, but it was reaffirmed to me and it was so nice for me to remember that about myself.

Through this I also learned that no man, or woman (if you're a man reading this) for that matter is worth jeopardizing your morals for. It's not worth it. I'm not going to change who I am simply so that I can have someone in my life. Once again, this is in so way reflecting anything from my "dating" experience...it's just something that I reaffirmed to myself.

I know that there is someone out there for me that will respect my values and morals and wants those things in a wife and mother. I know I've also got a whole lot of baggage with me too, but I'm not going to let that stop me either. It all goes back to seeing what we are looking for. I will see it, because I'm looking for only the best. It may not be today, tomorrow or in a really long time...but I do think it's there! God gives me so much to hope for!!! And yes, some days I have to fight for that more than others, but I do believe it's worth fighting for.

God is always working...always. He works in ways we don't understand and may never. I am, however, thankful for those times when He does give me a little glimpse of tomorrow.

I hope you all have a great weekend...God bless!