Sunday, December 02, 2007

Winter and Spring

A new week is here. Not a whole lot has happened, just most of the day to day operations. My five year old just came in here, who is supposed to be in bed by the way, upset because her cross necklace that she got from church is broken. I told her I would fix it in the morning. She got upset, because now she's not protected. She is quite possibly the most dramatic person I know. I don't know where she gets, it because I'm not like that at all. And I'm not being sarcastic. I blame her father of course, because he's the easy target and I also blame her aunts. She's the spitting image of SuzAnne and Jenny. I can't remember if I told this story or not, but a few weeks ago she said she was going to sit outside. I was watching her from the front window and I see her sitting out on the sidewalk in a chair and holding up something when cars would drive by. I asked her what she was doing. She tells me that she's selling post-it notes, for free. She then came in and got a wash cloth. She was trying to sell it for $5. That is so something that SuzAnne would try to do. I can't tell you about the countless number of "craft" stores she would start. And the crafts she would make were horrible. She tried to make a hammock out of toilet paper. Needless to say, it didn't work.

This past week and this weekend I have to admit have been hard. Things really have hit me. It's been in a different way, but I don't know it's just been kind of odd. This morning in class, since I go to a single parents class that is primarily made up of parents who are divorced, I asked if that was normal and if they too felt that way after the divorce was final. Unanimously they all said when the divorce was final it just snuck up on them in a way they didn't expect. They all thought they would be happy and then one lady said she found herself in the closet crying. So, I do feel better knowing that what I am feeling is completely normal. I think what is different for me during this time is that I know that I can make it through this. Where 11 months ago I was just going through this for the first time. I'm getting better at this whole trusting God thing and knowing that this is a season right now. Although I do get down, I know without a doubt that God is in control. He will see me through and it's not just a matter of me saying that to myself so that I can convince myself; I know that it's true.

I think that I am still even more in a season on self-discovery. And I'm going to do my best to pursue that. I'm trying to think of some hobby, or something that would be good for me to just kind of do for myself. It's hard sometimes because I do have time constraints being a single mom of three children, but at the same time it's important for me to take care of myself. You know what they say on the airplane. Put the oxygen mask on yourself, then your kids. So, I'm really going to start thinking of some things that I might look into. I have no idea what they might be yet, but just looking is a start.

I'm also really trying to study the Bible more. I know that the more I throw myself in God's word the better off I will be. I really started doing that last night, and already I am feeling better.

It's just a matter of time and focus on the right things. I look at the approaching winter and I love the winter, for a while. Then like most people I love the spring. The spring brings me such absolute joy. Not only because of the warmer weather, but the symbolism of the new life and new beginning. I kind of see this winter and spring as the same way. I am surely thankful for already being through my first winter, because that was really hard. And I think I will probably see "winter" some of this winter too. However, I sure look forward to this spring and I also look forward to the spring in my life. Because it's there, and I know it. And truly the simple thought of it puts a smile on my face.

But I'm not sure what is more depressing, this divorce or the fact that I plucked 2 gray hairs out of my head this morning. Ohhhh, I don't like that one bit. I thought that you weren't supposed to get gray hair at least until you were 35. I'm only 29. This bothers me. It's time to get the hair highlighted again.

So anyways, that's what is going on with us. Mason goes for his 6 month appointment tomorrow. And other than that, not a whole lot is going on! I will post my "Holiday Happening" tomorrow for Jenni's bloggy carnival. Have a great week!


Blogger Marta said...

Don't give those gray hairs a second thought... I have had a gray streak in my hair since I was 16. And I'm only 26! With each of my pregnancies it got larger and more prominent. I've been surprised how many people think I dye it to get it to look that way. Kyle gets grays every once in a while too.

I definitely agree that good moms are moms who take care of themselves. If you don't give to yourself every now and then you won't have very much to give to your kids. I'm excited to see what hobby/activity you come up with!

10:31 PM  
Blogger Penless Thoughts said...

Yes Spring always follows the Winter of our lives.

10:03 AM  

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