Well I wasn't planning on blogging until after Christmas, but the mood struck me. Mostly because it's actually quiet right now. On Thursday nights I get a few hours to myself and when I came home the kids were bathed and asleep in bed by 8p.m.!!! And Nathan was the babysitter too. So for that he will earn one small point in my book. I can't hand out the points too often to him. I think that seems only fair.
Okay, well exciting news...I got an IPOD for Christmas!!!! Last night we opened presents with Colt and SuzAnne, because that was the only time it was going to work this year with them. I am way excited. It's just the shuffle, but that's what I wanted...and I'm in love. And this may make me sound like I'm 90, but I am just truly amazed at technology and how that music can fit inside that tiny thing...amazing!
This weekend is the wedding for my cousin Lyndee. My mom arranged for a lady in Slaton to keep the boys for me all weekend. I'm so glad, because Madi and I are going to be going non-stop this weekend. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner, then Saturday morning is the brunch and then the wedding that night. And it's in Post...so we'll be keeping the highway hot. I'm just so glad I don't have to worry about the boys, and then maybe I won't be so tired from all the coming and going.
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Okay, so now for the second part of my post. I feel like I'm writing a church bulletin or something. You know the first part has all the news and announcements and now for the serious part. I've just really got something on my mind and like all things that make me think it's generally because of something that's happened, or something I've read, or a combination. Well in this case it's a combination of lots of things. Someone really needs to teach me how to do a permalink within my post. Please...I'll give you a dollar, or chocolate. Whichever you prefer.
Anyways, in class on Sunday we were talking about how things are always changing. Nothing is ever the same. And maybe that's a problem I have. I always expect them to stay the way they are. I think we all think that. It just seems logical that they would. Especially if things are good. However, none of us are immune to things changing. Jobs change, people die, people get divorced, people move...we're constantly in a new state all the time. And when those things happen we don't understand. We want to understand. (This is the part where I need a permalink for a blog I read) Would we want to know what God is thinking? Would we want to know what God's next move is? I sat and thought about that for a long time, and I thought, "yes I would!" I want to know what the outcome will be. I can't even keep myself from opening all my Christmas presents and I'm almost 30...of course I want to know!!! Does that make me wrong? And after some more thought, I realized something. It's not about knowing...it's about trusting. Do I trust God enough with my life that no matter what happens and no matter what His next move is that I'm taken care of. That is what it boils down to...for me anyways.
I mean 13 months ago if God had told me what was going to happen what would I have thought? Would I have trusted Him enough to know that He would have taken care of my every need? I don't know, I think I would have been so stuck on the thought of that happening to me that I wouldn't have been able to focus on anything else. Instead God forces me to stretch myself everyday. He challenges my faith everyday. And in so many ways...I mean in so many ways. He challenges me to raise my kids right, to be an example, to be a moral person, to trust that I will have food on my table and gas in my car, to have a roof over my head, and that I will be able to love again. And that's a big one for me...I was actually thinking about this today. I have a fear that there isn't anyone out there that has the high morals that I have, and I have a fear of lowering my morals for someone I shouldn't. Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all things guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of Life"...it is an everyday battle to do that. And I don't think that applies to just single people, we all have to guard our hearts against a number of things. And you know, I know that God is in control and that's something I shouldn't worry about it, but sometimes more than others, it's hard not to. Just thought I'd be honest with what I'm feeling.
To me I guess the bottom line is that God is always opening doors...always. And sometimes those doors lead to other doors. Sometimes the door that is initially opened doesn't mean that that's always going to be the door I'm standing in. Someday that door may close and lead me to another door, but I have to remember that at the end of the day He's still taking care of me...always has. So why would I doubt Him now? I don't doubt Him, in fact more than ever I trust Him. I don't think I have an alternative. Good gravy...if I don't have my faith, then I seriously have NOTHING. God has a way of working all things out, even the mountains in my life that some days I still question. I have to believe though and lean not on my own understanding. I'll get there...but only with Him.
Okay, well exciting news...I got an IPOD for Christmas!!!! Last night we opened presents with Colt and SuzAnne, because that was the only time it was going to work this year with them. I am way excited. It's just the shuffle, but that's what I wanted...and I'm in love. And this may make me sound like I'm 90, but I am just truly amazed at technology and how that music can fit inside that tiny thing...amazing!
This weekend is the wedding for my cousin Lyndee. My mom arranged for a lady in Slaton to keep the boys for me all weekend. I'm so glad, because Madi and I are going to be going non-stop this weekend. Tomorrow night is the rehearsal dinner, then Saturday morning is the brunch and then the wedding that night. And it's in Post...so we'll be keeping the highway hot. I'm just so glad I don't have to worry about the boys, and then maybe I won't be so tired from all the coming and going.
**************************************************************************
Okay, so now for the second part of my post. I feel like I'm writing a church bulletin or something. You know the first part has all the news and announcements and now for the serious part. I've just really got something on my mind and like all things that make me think it's generally because of something that's happened, or something I've read, or a combination. Well in this case it's a combination of lots of things. Someone really needs to teach me how to do a permalink within my post. Please...I'll give you a dollar, or chocolate. Whichever you prefer.
Anyways, in class on Sunday we were talking about how things are always changing. Nothing is ever the same. And maybe that's a problem I have. I always expect them to stay the way they are. I think we all think that. It just seems logical that they would. Especially if things are good. However, none of us are immune to things changing. Jobs change, people die, people get divorced, people move...we're constantly in a new state all the time. And when those things happen we don't understand. We want to understand. (This is the part where I need a permalink for a blog I read) Would we want to know what God is thinking? Would we want to know what God's next move is? I sat and thought about that for a long time, and I thought, "yes I would!" I want to know what the outcome will be. I can't even keep myself from opening all my Christmas presents and I'm almost 30...of course I want to know!!! Does that make me wrong? And after some more thought, I realized something. It's not about knowing...it's about trusting. Do I trust God enough with my life that no matter what happens and no matter what His next move is that I'm taken care of. That is what it boils down to...for me anyways.
I mean 13 months ago if God had told me what was going to happen what would I have thought? Would I have trusted Him enough to know that He would have taken care of my every need? I don't know, I think I would have been so stuck on the thought of that happening to me that I wouldn't have been able to focus on anything else. Instead God forces me to stretch myself everyday. He challenges my faith everyday. And in so many ways...I mean in so many ways. He challenges me to raise my kids right, to be an example, to be a moral person, to trust that I will have food on my table and gas in my car, to have a roof over my head, and that I will be able to love again. And that's a big one for me...I was actually thinking about this today. I have a fear that there isn't anyone out there that has the high morals that I have, and I have a fear of lowering my morals for someone I shouldn't. Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all things guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of Life"...it is an everyday battle to do that. And I don't think that applies to just single people, we all have to guard our hearts against a number of things. And you know, I know that God is in control and that's something I shouldn't worry about it, but sometimes more than others, it's hard not to. Just thought I'd be honest with what I'm feeling.
To me I guess the bottom line is that God is always opening doors...always. And sometimes those doors lead to other doors. Sometimes the door that is initially opened doesn't mean that that's always going to be the door I'm standing in. Someday that door may close and lead me to another door, but I have to remember that at the end of the day He's still taking care of me...always has. So why would I doubt Him now? I don't doubt Him, in fact more than ever I trust Him. I don't think I have an alternative. Good gravy...if I don't have my faith, then I seriously have NOTHING. God has a way of working all things out, even the mountains in my life that some days I still question. I have to believe though and lean not on my own understanding. I'll get there...but only with Him.
posted by Larissa at
9:13 PM
4 Comments:
Linking is easy. In blogger, simply highlight the text that you want to link (this is called the anchor text). Click on the world/link icon in the blogger list of buttons, which will pop up a tiny window to put the site's address that you want to link. Copy the link from another window/tab (highlight the address and hit control C) and paste it (control V) in the small window. Just hit the enter/okay (whatever it is) button and it will be linked in your post.
I hope that isn't confusing. Once you know it, you'll find it easy.
I get it. It's always a journey. God let's me know alot, but too much and I'd run screaming for the hills.
I have a shuffle that I got for Mother's Day and love it. You will enjoy yours, too!
As to the rest of your post, I have not gone through what you have, but I do know that things do change, and that is hard for me also. We have moved several times since we have been married and we have also undergone some changes with my husband's work schedule. I do not handle change well, but I believe it is those times that I truly realize how desperate I am for God's hand to guide me.
I pray that he will give you peace as you are guided through the next chapter in your life.
Merry Christmas Larissa! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and I wish you the best 2008! You are an inspiration.
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