Thursday, October 11, 2007


I have been so tired this week. No amount of coffee has kept me awake. I think I finally woke up today. It's just been one of those weeks that I did a lot of reflecting. For some that may sound like torture, but I enjoy it. I learn a lot. It's just my personality. I think I've thought a lot about Chrissy and her mom. Which I still don't know anything yet. I remember when they put the morphine patch on my Mema and called in hospice we all thought it wouldn't take long at all. She hung on for so much longer than any of ever anticipated. Not a fun time.

It hasn't been a bad week, hasn't really been a spectacular week. Just a week, ya know? I met with a guy this morning. I'm reviewing my health insurance and trying to decide what to do. I just had a rate increase and I'm never sick, so I just feel like I'm wasting money. I wouldn't go without insurance, but I'm just looking at some alternatives. I hate dealing with this kind of stuff. I'm good at the mom stuff. Ya know throw up on me, pee on me, poop...whatever. But the details stuff, it's like Chinese to me. I just want the bottom line. But right now that is where I'm at. Fortunately, God seems to guide me through these things too.

I was telling my mom all of this and about some of the things that I'm doing at work now, and she told me that I just need to find a good wife. NO KIDDING! I just laughed. That is so the truth!!! I feel like a man. And I don't like it! You couldn't pay me enough money to be a man. I may complain once a month about being a woman and then of course during labor, but overall I would take that any day over being a man. There is just so much pressure for men. (If any men are reading this, I'm sure I have you saying "Amen") They have to provide, they're SUPPOSED to be the spiritual leaders, and then come home, fix the car, take out the trash and help their wives with the kids. Well I have to do all of that, and still do all the wife stuff too. Single parenting is just not natural. And really God never intended for it to be natural. That's why it's so hard.

Anyways, well I guess that's about it for now. I'm tired again, but I've worked hard today. It's 9:30, we just got home a little bit ago. I picked Madi up from school and we've been busy pretty much ever since. We got Kyle's hair cut, worked out and then went and ate dinner with my family. So I'm sore and tired. I'm taking a bath and going to bed!

On another note, have you heard that song by Relient K; "Give Until There's Nothing Left to Give" I love it! I've listened to it about 10 times today. It's so good.


Blogger Penless Thoughts said...

Living in the grinding day to day can be the hardest times but you are doing great :o) Today is a new day.

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Amanda said...

I would take being a man any day. I think women have it harder than men do. That's just my opinion. Maybe it's just the lazy men I have dealt with!! Have a good weekend!

1:43 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Hope you have a great weekend! Love and miss your face.

6:46 PM  

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