Hello Fall!

Ahhh finally cool weather! It has been so hot here. It's freezing this morning...I love it! It makes me want to bake or something.

I had a great time this weekend. I went to Clovis for my friend's birthday party. It was a barn dance. Which at first I thought, hmmm...a barn dance. I'm not into country a whole lot, but it was just a regular ole' dance that just happened to be in a barn. I didn't know a whole lot of people except for Khaki and her family, but she only knows nice, friendly people, so it was fun. I've known Khaki since we were in the 4th grade. I lived in Clovis from the 2nd through 7th grades. We've managed to keep in touch all this time. Sometimes it may have been a couple of years between visits, but still we always seem to just pick up where we left off. She has always been a dear friend to me!

While there I visited old places around town. Clovis has grown dramatically since I lived there. It's almost doubled in size. It's pretty nice now. I drove by my old house. That house is pretty special to us, because it was a house that we owned in Post and moved to Clovis and then added onto it. It was a quite a project as I remember growing up. We had an acre of land and we planted all the trees that are in full bloom there now. I hated leaving Clovis when I was younger. Moving from there was the first really difficult thing I remember about growing up. But I would definitely say that moving to McAllen, which is where I graduated from high school, made me a stronger person. I hadn't faced much adversity, but moving a gringa (white girl in Spanish) from Clovis to South Texas where the percentage of Hispanics was 97% at my junior high was something that really forced me to learn a lot about diversity. Which now I would say was a very good thing.

I also just had a great time driving by myself. I took the window off my dad's jeep and I just had lots of time to think, pray, talk to myself...ya know all the things that I don't get to do a lot of when I'm with the kids. And it's good because my time away makes me miss the kids, which then I feel makes me be a better mom. I will say that I would be so terribly bored if I didn't have my children. I don't know what in the world I would do. They are my life!

Yesterday I got home, and then left again and went and ate dinner with Sheila and then went to my divorce care group. So it was just a great weekend for many different reasons, but I am glad to be home. I like going places, but there really is no better place to be than your own bed. I missed it, and I slept so good last night.

I did a lot of thinking, and thanks for all your prayers. I really think they're working. I just have had a lot of peace and really a lot more understanding of what God wants. And by saying that, I don't really know what God wants for me, but I do feel that God is telling me a lot right now. I've never considered myself a control freak. When compared to the rest of the population, I would say that I am very laid back. However, because I've had to be on my own and make all the decisions by myself, I think that has kind of given me a tendency to try to control things. So when faced with situations I am always asking myself what I should do. And right now I believe that I am in a situation where I don't think there is a whole lot I can do. I think God just wants me to keep being wise and know that if he needs me to do something, He'll let me know. And realizing all of this has made me realize something very big too. I am not the only one that God is in control of...He controls all things and all people. Which is very comforting. I do believe that in many ways God is working right now, and not just for me. I am really being able to see His hand at work right now. We still all have the choice of free will, but ultimately God is in control.

I have questioned many different aspects of all of this and why they are the way they are. And while I haven't come up with a whole lot of answers, I don't think it really matters right now. What does matter is realizing that God knows, and to trust that.

Romans 8:28
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to this purpose for them.

Ecclesiastes 3:1
For everything there is a season, and a time for very purpose under heaven.

Ecclesiastes 11:5
Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in the mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

To me those scriptures just go hand in hand, and make so much sense to me. I find great comfort in reading them, and knowing that I need to take the back seat. Right now there is nothing to do, but to know that God is leading and if He needs me to do something, He'll guide me.

I hope you all have a great Monday!!!