Dating and other things...
I've never talked about this before. Partly because it's a subject that I am not really comfortable with right now. It's a very odd subject to me, because I never thought I'd find myself in the dating arena again. Well, here I am. No, I'm not dating, and no I'm not ready. I don't know when I'll be ready. And really I'm not worried about that. I know God will know when I'm ready.
I've said this before, but in Divorce care some "experts" say that you need to wait 1 year for every 4 years of marriage. Well in my case that would have me at about 1 year and a couple of months before I would be "ready". For me I feel it's kind of different. My kids are my reason for everything, and I would never want to do anything that would hurt them any more than they've already been hurt. Yes, I want them to have an active father in their life, but I don't want them to have men in and out of their lives. I think that could even do more damage.
Last night at bunco, one of my friends just came right out and asked me if I was dating yet. I first told her that I'm not even divorced yet. I have a moral problem with people who date before their divorce is final. Adultery is adultery in my eyes, and I believe in God's eyes also. So no, I will not be dating anytime in 2007. She went on to tell me, more than once or twice, that she has some great guys that she would really like me to date once I'm ready.
To be very honest, that's just all so weird for me to even hear. Don't get me wrong, it's crossed my mind more than once. I feel so differently now about dating, marriage, men...etc, etc. And let me just say, I'm not bitter at all. I have great hope of meeting someone wonderful someday and I believe that I will, but it's just kind of all weird that I even find myself here.
So many people tell me how well I am handling all of this, and I still say so much of that is because I have to. I don't know how well I'd be doing if I didn't have kids. I have to give them 100% of me, therefore I have to be 100%. But when it comes down to it, I am still a person who desires to be loved just like everyone else. And over the last 9 months, I have developed a pretty tough exterior, and the thought of being vulnerable to someone scares me. I don't want to get hurt again like I did.
Once again that is where my faith comes in to play. I think that God has given me a lot of wisdom, and his spirit continually helps me to be intuitive in many areas of my life. I think I am doing all the right things, and I will leave the matter of my heart up to God. And that after all is the best place for it to be.
I once heard that when it comes to dating if you want to find the right person that God has intended for you, then you need to get to where God is. Get to where He is and stay there, because that person that God desires for you will be there also. That has been very powerful to me, and I am just walking in faith that this will hold true for me. So I don't worry, but still it is wierd...
I've said this before, but in Divorce care some "experts" say that you need to wait 1 year for every 4 years of marriage. Well in my case that would have me at about 1 year and a couple of months before I would be "ready". For me I feel it's kind of different. My kids are my reason for everything, and I would never want to do anything that would hurt them any more than they've already been hurt. Yes, I want them to have an active father in their life, but I don't want them to have men in and out of their lives. I think that could even do more damage.
Last night at bunco, one of my friends just came right out and asked me if I was dating yet. I first told her that I'm not even divorced yet. I have a moral problem with people who date before their divorce is final. Adultery is adultery in my eyes, and I believe in God's eyes also. So no, I will not be dating anytime in 2007. She went on to tell me, more than once or twice, that she has some great guys that she would really like me to date once I'm ready.
To be very honest, that's just all so weird for me to even hear. Don't get me wrong, it's crossed my mind more than once. I feel so differently now about dating, marriage, men...etc, etc. And let me just say, I'm not bitter at all. I have great hope of meeting someone wonderful someday and I believe that I will, but it's just kind of all weird that I even find myself here.
So many people tell me how well I am handling all of this, and I still say so much of that is because I have to. I don't know how well I'd be doing if I didn't have kids. I have to give them 100% of me, therefore I have to be 100%. But when it comes down to it, I am still a person who desires to be loved just like everyone else. And over the last 9 months, I have developed a pretty tough exterior, and the thought of being vulnerable to someone scares me. I don't want to get hurt again like I did.
Once again that is where my faith comes in to play. I think that God has given me a lot of wisdom, and his spirit continually helps me to be intuitive in many areas of my life. I think I am doing all the right things, and I will leave the matter of my heart up to God. And that after all is the best place for it to be.
I once heard that when it comes to dating if you want to find the right person that God has intended for you, then you need to get to where God is. Get to where He is and stay there, because that person that God desires for you will be there also. That has been very powerful to me, and I am just walking in faith that this will hold true for me. So I don't worry, but still it is wierd...
posted by Larissa at
8:15 AM
6 Comments:
I just appreciate so much your honesty and your openness. It is so refreshing. I can't imagine being where you are and having so much hope. As always, you and your precious kiddos are in my thoughts and prayers.
I think I am doing all the right things, and I will leave the matter of my heart up to God. And that after all is the best place for it to be.
AMEN!! God already has him all picked out and is preparing him as much for you as you for him :o)
Susan
I think you have a great perspective on this! It'll happen in God's time. Our minister taught a great lesson Wed. night about this. He said it is like a trapeeze act. The flyer says that he doesn't really do much, all the responsibility is with the catcher. The only things the flyer does is let go, wait, feel the hands catching him. I love that analogy! Let go, wait, feel yourself being caught!
I know God is working on your perfect mate as we speak. He will have you and him ready to meet at the right time. I think you have a great perspective and right attitude. I too, like Marta appreciate your openess and honesty. Your children are blessed to have a mom like you. Keep your chin up, there are going to be hard days, keep strong in your faith. I will keep you and your kids in my prayers.
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It really is a differnt place "dating" in your 30's. At least for me, it was much different than before I was ever married. I agree let God lead you. You will know when the time is right.
Hugs, Lyndy
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