Friday, October 26, 2007

Greatness

This has been a great week. I don't think I've ever been so full of peace, understanding, love, joy, forgiveness, you name it...maybe in my life. I think God is just really giving me the opportunity to be able to see his work and blessings through this whole journey I've been on for almost a year now.

I wish I could write what was in my heart, but I just don't think it can come across quite the way I feel. I really am just in awe. I could sit and stare for days I think. It sure makes up for the pure torture I was feeling back in the winter. And that gives me more proof that God does make everything beautiful in time...and not just for me. I have to remember that I'm not the only one affected by this. Yes, it did "happen" to me, but God is doing a lot of things for everyone who has been hurt by this situation. Even the people who I feel a lot of times have deserved to be punished.

Today I had lunch with an old friend. This friend had really hurt me and betrayed me in a way that I thought was just as bad as what Nathan did. I had prayed about this situation for months and months. We kept running into each other, and I didn't think that it was by chance that this kept happening. I think God had been talking to me for sometime, I just didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I could do it. So really, He did it for me. And the peace I received by this meeting, was beyond belief. I learned a lot about myself, a lot about life, and SO much about the amazing power of healing. I feel as though I was able to close one of the last couple of doors of this whole process and get closure in an area that I really wanted some closure.

There are just a few more "firsts", and then really in a way I just feel like I will just have all the closure I need. Next Saturday is my anniversary. It would be six years that we were married. It gets a little strange, because I will actually be in Ruidoso next Saturday. Well that is where we went on our honeymoon. So I will be there precisely 6 years later. I didn't plan that at all by the way. It just happened. I'm actually going with the single parents class at Monterey. I was going to go with the ladies from Slaton, but that weekend they were going isn't going to work for me. I am really looking forward to it! And I don't think it will bother me. I really hope it doesn't. Besides what else would I do, sit in Lubbock and mope? That sounds thrilling! No, I'm going to have fun. And fun is what I will have.

Then I should just have about 2 more weeks and this should be looking pretty final. I'm so thankful for my second chance. I'm thankful for being able to visibly see God working. I'm thankful for my smile that is truly genuine. And oddly enough I'm thankful for the days that it was hard to find a smile, because it's those days that make me so grateful for this day.

I'm closing a lot of doors, but God is just beginning to open them for me. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT AND TRULY BELIEVE IT!!! Like I said, I wish I could convey truly what was in my heart, because my words just don't do it. But today is a GREAT day! One of the best.

10 Comments:

Blogger Katherine said...

YAY!!! :) I am thrilled to hear this wonderful news, and am so thankful that God has brought you through this and given you such peace, joy, love, etc. that can ONLY come from Him.

You have been such a great testament of faith, and of someone who is allowing God to teach you through this time of trial. You did not give up or give in-but have faced this head on, and did not merely survive-you thrived and succeeded!! Praise God for that!! :) You have truly taken Him by the hand and let Him guide you, and that is a blessing to see. Thank you for taking us on this journey with you. Thank you for your example and inspiration, and for being God's tool! You have encouraged me a lot-often without even knowing it.

It is an amazing feeling and relief when you can forgive and let go-that is for sure!! I am glad you were able to do this, and can put things behind you.

Continue to look for those doors-God will provide them, and you are right-this is only the beginning!! Blessings, friend~

11:02 AM  
Blogger Em said...

I am so excited for you! What a wonderful blessing, I am so glad your heart and spirit are lighter. Remember our tough times don't define us, they make us more compassionate (Christ-like)to others going through an awful situation. Love you!

11:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't great when you see the light. I am so thankful for the place you are. I am jealous that you are going to NM. I will be there soon enough. I don't know if we've talked about this, but I love reading your posts b/c I feel like I am hearing you talk, I know I don't always talk back, but its great to hear from you.

Jenny

8:16 PM  
Blogger Marta said...

I'm just so happy for you Larissa! It hasn't been the easiest few weeks for us and just reading your post and hearing about how God is working in your life makes my heart feel lighter and encourages me so much. I hope that your weekend in NM is wonderful!

8:54 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

PRAISE GOD!

I am so glad to read all of this and am just so happy for you. How incredibly HE works.

9:41 PM  
Blogger Procters said...

There is a song we sing at church that comes from a verse in the Bible that says, "He has turned my mourning into dancing...This is how we overcome". I thought of that when I read your beautiful post. Dance on my friend!!! I can hardly wait to see all of the wonderful things God has in sight for you.
Much love, Cherise

12:45 PM  
Blogger Misty said...

Bold things your are doing and it's soooo wonderful! You are amazing and I am so glad to see such growth and healing taking place! Sharing your journey will bless so many people, as well... God works through all things, even our heartaches!

6:37 PM  
Blogger suzanne said...

Would you believe that I've logged on here twice and both times Mr. West was singing to me. Don't worry, I found my volume button!!!!

11:39 PM  
Blogger Rosheeda said...

Larissa -

I'm proud of you. This is one of the greatest places to be. Keep on walkin' and listenin'. You're on the upside of down right now.

10:23 AM  
Blogger Lyndy said...

You are doing so well and I am so happy for you. This past year has been a journey for you and your strength continues to amaze me with all you have gone through. It is one thing to go through a divorce when you have no kids but you had two and then added your precious Mason. I just know God has great things in store for you.

Hugs, Lyndy

11:15 AM  

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