Wednesday, April 25, 2007


I finished the book! All 400+ pages of it. And I have to say my heart has never been more touched by a book in my life. I just cried and cried last night. Not in a bad way, but you know when you're just so overcome by something that has touched you, it can happen. At school I would try to keep the tears back, but it was hard. All the kids kept asking me what I was reading and when I said, "Redeeming Love" they were like, "ick, gross, blah!" If they only knew what they were missing.

I was thinking today and reflecting what I learned from the story, and I started thinking about how needy I am. I find myself saying at least once a day, "God I need a miracle today." And I manage to get through the day. I manage to have food on my table, and a roof over my head. And I know that's because God supplies me with all my needs. And I started thinking how tired God must be of me always needing something. But then I realized, that being needy is what God wants from me. He just wants to make sure I am looking in the right place for my needs. He wants me to pour out my heart with every single thing I need. He wants to finally and completely surrender control, and realize that He can supply EVERYTHING for me. Even things that a human could supply, He wants to be able to do for me.

I think the reason why that idea is hard for me, is because of the society we live in. "Be independent, do it yourself! Watch out for yourself, because no one else will!" That's not true, and living like that is hurting me. It's making me look for comfort and care in the wrong places, when there is only one place I can get that from. I have to surrender every part of me to God and know that He is sufficient for me...and no one else. God will use people to help me, but I need to look to him first, and not get so wrapped up in the how and why of things in my life.

So being needy isn't such a bad thing. But where I look for my needs to be met is what makes all the difference in the world. I've been there done that and looked for my saviour in this world, and I got really hurt. The part in that book where Sarah looks to Michael and thinks he is her savior, I can completely identify with that. I did that. I worshiped an earthly god, and have realized that I already have a Saviour, and always have, I just never looked in the right place for him. I won't make that mistake again. The cost is too high, and the pain too great.

I am so thankful I now have someone who I know loves me unconditionally, and will never let me down. He will take care of my every need. I just have to keep looking to Him.


Blogger jen said...

Again, it is such a blessing to have just a small glimpse of the journey you are taking.

6:54 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Totally agree with Jenn. I love reading your blog.
I guess you need to tell me what this book is about, cuz I really don't know and it sounds like a good one!

10:45 PM  
Blogger Katherine said...

Oh my word, I LOVED that book-I read it last April also, and it was just incredible-I am so glad it blessed you, too! :)

9:43 PM  
Blogger Kristy, Michael, Kalynn, and Kaden said...

Hey Friend, Well I finally found a few minutes to catch up with you and post a blog of my own. I love Francine Rivers. She is a wonderful author. I try to read everything I can get my hands on from her. I'm glad you are doing well. I hope we will be able to pick up our weekly lunch meetings this summer when we are both done with school. Do you have plans for work for the summer? Again, your blogs are always encouraging, even on your "bad days". Love you and think about you all the time. Talk to you soon, Kristy

11:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you liked this book, try reading the MArk of the Lion series by Rivers. Touched me completely!
Jen (Wood) Whitehead

11:22 AM  

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