Frustrated

I haven't posted about myself in a while. And really I have been doing well. Moving to Slaton was the best decision I've made through this process. Not only do I have help with the kids, but just the emotional and psychological stress of being in the same town with Nathan was very difficult, and so much of that has been eliminated. I am very thankful.

Today I had a hard afternoon. There are just some things that I don't understand. I even question God. It's not that I don't think He doesn't know what He's doing, but I don't understand why I would be put in situations that are just not good for me. I don't think I'm being punished, and I am fully aware that God is in control and that this will all work out, but I still find myself being frustrated and puzzled at some of the things I have to deal with. And the absolutely maddening part is that I did not make this choice. This was thrown at me, and yet I have to deal with the reperucussions. It's then I become very angry. But what can I do? Nothing. I can pray. I can hope. I can have faith. And those are all the things I need to be focusing on, because the other will drive me to do something that will probably have me sporting a nice, bright orange jumpsuit and well, really orange isn't a good color for me.

But I tell you I sure look forward to the day, when I can say, "no more." And someday that day will come. It may take a couple of years, but that day will come. I just have to hang on until then. For now, thanks for listening to me vent.