Monday, April 23, 2007

Frustrated

I haven't posted about myself in a while. And really I have been doing well. Moving to Slaton was the best decision I've made through this process. Not only do I have help with the kids, but just the emotional and psychological stress of being in the same town with Nathan was very difficult, and so much of that has been eliminated. I am very thankful.

Today I had a hard afternoon. There are just some things that I don't understand. I even question God. It's not that I don't think He doesn't know what He's doing, but I don't understand why I would be put in situations that are just not good for me. I don't think I'm being punished, and I am fully aware that God is in control and that this will all work out, but I still find myself being frustrated and puzzled at some of the things I have to deal with. And the absolutely maddening part is that I did not make this choice. This was thrown at me, and yet I have to deal with the reperucussions. It's then I become very angry. But what can I do? Nothing. I can pray. I can hope. I can have faith. And those are all the things I need to be focusing on, because the other will drive me to do something that will probably have me sporting a nice, bright orange jumpsuit and well, really orange isn't a good color for me.

But I tell you I sure look forward to the day, when I can say, "no more." And someday that day will come. It may take a couple of years, but that day will come. I just have to hang on until then. For now, thanks for listening to me vent.

5 Comments:

Blogger Barbie said...

Oh Larissa this is so hard isn't it? God knows how much this hurts and I believe He understands our questions..He knows....I just started reading a book called "Where is God When it Hurts?" and I have to tell you it is the best thing next to the Bible that I have read dealing with these questions. Just wanted to suggest that and let you know you are still in my prayers {{{{{{}}}}}}}}}

8:39 PM  
Blogger John & Kisti said...

Hang in there, girl!

Just take one step at a time. Know that the Prince of Peace has a great Plan for you! Jeremiah 29:11. This quote I saw today seems appropriate, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Live it step by step!

11:04 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Girl..............you are human but have God in control. I applaud you. I have a real tough time completely handing things over I just stew over them. God is working through you and in you. Glad you got some time to yourself. Still praying...........

11:23 PM  
Blogger Lyndy said...

Praying for you sweet sister. I know it must be very stressful. I do see God working in your life and you will be blessed for all you do in honoring Him.

Won't Heaven be wonderful? When we have no worries and heart trouble to deal with.

Hang in there, you are doing great.

11:48 PM  
Blogger Sara said...

Larissa I think about you often and can't believe how well you are doing. I'm sure it feels so good to just be able to vent on this blog.
I hope that tomorrow is a better day and you will be blessed with a calm spirit to tackle any obstacle that satan throws at you.
Your endurance amazes me....

10:38 PM  

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