Sunday, June 22, 2008

Dumbing Down

***My modem fried on Friday, so I'm without internet. I can't order a modem until tomorrow morning, and then take into account my amazing computer skills (insert sarcasm here) and I will be out until I get it fixed. I'm sure I'll have an earful for you though after next weekend.***

Dumbing down is a term a term I first heard from my mother in law. She was a single mom for a while, after her husband died, and she talked about dating and how women have a tendency to “dumb” down for love. I know I had done it before, I think every girl has. I’m sure guys do too, but overall I think girls can be some of the dumbest creatures on Earth. I’m not doggin’ on my own species, but really how dumb can we be sometimes that we would put ourselves in situations that we know aren’t right…and furthermore stay there.

I read this article last week in the AJ about this woman who felt trapped in her marriage of over 30 years. Her husband abused her, cheated on her countless times, gave her an assortment of S.T.D’s, but the sex was always good, so that is why she stayed. She wasn’t quite sure what to do. Ummm…I’m sorry, but I don’t see how she could even question what she should do. I mean really??? How can you let someone do that to you???

I think everyday we allow ourselves to be put in situations where things just aren’t right, and we put up with it. I can’t speak for everyone, but I know I’ve done that. And what’s the payoff? I’m not sure. There has to be something, or we wouldn’t do it. I guess the more obvious situations like the one mentioned above seems ridiculous, because who in their right mind would allow that? At the same time though, it doesn’t have to be on that large of scale in order for it still to be wrong. It is my choice, and MY CHOICE only to stop that. God gives me free will to do what I want.

When I went and saw “Sex and the City” Miss Carrie Bradshaw described her relationship with Mr. Big and said that she was an emotional cutter. I never thought about that, but I think I can understand that. We don’t want to hurt because of relationships, but at the same time you want to feel something. It seems to be all about “feeling”…we’re such a society to wants to feel something. Or on the other hand, doesn’t want to feel at all, so we find ourselves medicating with drugs, alcohol, sex…whatever; you can name your own poison. But it all centers around feeling. I’ve been wanting to feel, or on the other hand, not lose the feeling.

I now find myself at a spiritual crossroads. It's a good one. (Aren't they all???) I’m so excited about going to “The Walk” next weekend. I think it is absolutely perfect timing for many different reasons. I don’t expect to come out of there looking like Moses after he came down from the mountain or anything, but I do have a lot of hope spiritually for good things.

I feel like my life has changed a lot in a short amount of time. I can’t really pinpoint what it is, but my mindset has just been so much different and in a very good way. I’ll be honest, I’ve still struggled with the “leftovers” of my last relationship. It just threw me for a loop that I didn’t expect. But it’s okay, it helped me realize a lot of things about myself, and a lot of things about what I want and don’t want.

I’m not crazy to think that relationships are perfect, or that just because I went through a bad divorce that I’ll find my prince charming and live happily ever after. I know it doesn’t work that way. I would say more than ever, I know that. I do still have full faith that the right person for me is out there somewhere. And he’s not just out there for me; I’m out there for him. It works both ways, and as cliché as this may sound; Jesus already saved me, I don’t need a man to.

Once again, I find myself being so incredibly thankful for the people God has placed in my life who affirm to me that what I am doing is right. I am truly amazed at all the support I have from friends and family. I know there are lots of people in this world who don’t believe in God. I will tell you that I see God all around me, everyday. It’s in the people who love me, support me, watch over me and want good for me. There are no coincidences…God put these people in my life for a reason. Even the ones that suck too, (hahaha) because if we allow ourselves to, we can learn something from them as well. And then maybe if we’re lucky enough a bird will poop on their head one day, and it will make us feel better. No, I’m not passive aggressive at all…heehee.


Blogger Cheri said...

This one was good!!! I really enjoyed reading it.

Yes - you are right - Jesus already saved you - what a powerful statement. Not just because you just went through a divorce, but don't you wish you would've had the insight you have now when you were doing this the first time around? How much WASTED time did all of us spend dating the wrong person - or trying to date the wrong person!!!! And even with relationships with our girlfriends - I have been guilty many times of trying to have the "right" friends. The best ones are often right under our noses and not "somewhere out there". I think you hit the nail on the head - and one that I needed hit - Jesus already saved us - we don't need anyone else to do that for us.
Thanks for a good blog today!!!

7:47 PM  
Blogger Chrissy Cross said...

Great thoughts. The thing about dumbing down is that it is so easy. Many problems in life happen because we take the easy way out or just continue in the circumstance because it is easier. That is a daily challenge for me. I feel that I must always do the right thing to show my kids that you don't have a choice, that there is no "easier" road, the right road is the only way. I am so proud of what you are doing for your children and for yourself. You have done and are doing the right things, keep it up!

9:30 AM  
Blogger suzanne said...

Excellent blog, however I think the "modem" part needs to be update :) Care to tell anyone why?????

11:57 AM  

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